[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 19 February 2023].
cape marguerite
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 17 February 2023].
Some Dimorphotheca ecklonis I captured in St Kilda Cemetery on the first day of Spring in 2007.
untitled #117 [st kilda cemetery, st kilda, victoria, australia, 2007]
And some beautiful monarch butterflies hanging out amongst them.
I took these photos after going to my old GP practice for a check-up because of some odd sensations I'd been experiencing.
That appointment resulted in me having blood tests that revealed I had vitamin D deficiency and B12 anaemia for the first time.
Good times...
helmsley
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 16 February 2023].
bosham
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 10 February 2023].
I've been working through my photographs of Bosham in West Sussex from a visit there in September 2021 since mid-January. Hoping each week to share a batch of the images with my patrons on a Tuesday as part of my Travel Tuesday curated series.
I finally finished this batch (edited down from about 21 photographs that would have worked together) last Thursday evening. And I finally shared them with my patrons on Friday evening. So, not quite as planned.
I'm trying not to be too hard on myself about it.
October last year was a tough month.
Sitting a gorgeous but poorly kitteh proved to be both stressful and therapeutic.
My day job involved long hours in the lead-up to go-live of the rebuild of the organisation's website.
Amidst all that, there was worrying news coming in about my Mum. News that settled again, thankfully, but there was a lot of heightened emotion and stress to deal with until things seemed to return to her version of "normal".
Once all that died down, I still found myself feeling fatigued. My sleeping patterns were erratic. Getting out of bed was really, really hard. Staying out of bed during the day was just as hard. But in the evenings, I'd find my second wind and could make-up day job hours and work on some creative things.
In early November, about a month after my fast-track round of B12 jabs ended, I felt like the effects had already worn off.
I was still going through the process of elimination with health issues (technically, I still am, but the worst options are, thankfully, off the table). So I put some of it down to that but had my B12 and vitamin D tests redone in early January to check those hadn't started to backslide.
I had my next B12 jab a few days after the results came back. And though my vitamin D levels are still "insufficient", they're not terrible, and my B12 levels were back within an acceptable range.
But I didn't feel any better. And not knowing why was more frustrating than anything.
That is until a couple of weeks ago, at 05:00. As I lay there in the dark, unable to sleep, it occurred to me that I was suffering from seasonal affective disorder (SAD) again.
Although knowing the cause doesn't mean the issue immediately resolves itself, it does help me feel less uneasy. I know what to focus on until the weather changes and that many symptoms will subside with time and by taking specific actions.
But then another bout of worrying news came in from Dad last week. We don't know if it will prove another false alarm or if it's the beginning of the end. And that almost makes it harder somehow.
All this to say that, right now, life feels a bit like wading through molasses. And it could get worse before it gets better.
But I have good days when I spend hours lost in ideas for new projects, instalments of existing projects, writing and planning and editing, and I'm excited about everything. And I try to hold onto those thoughts on the days when I lose hours lying in bed feeling emotionally paralysed.
I also have many sessions booked with my therapy kittehs and soon-to-be therapy doggos this year.
This past weekend I was with my regulars in Bromley for the first time this year after a break in January, and I hope it was as therapeutic for them as it was for me.
I hope you'll stick around to see the fruits of the good days as I have the chance to share them with you. And I will continue to share them with you as often as possible.
avant garden
avant garden
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 22 January 2023].
jesus christ pose
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 17 January 2023].
twelve
In the final hour of my twelfth Londonversary, here are twelve photos of my adopted city from the Sky Garden.
You can see three of my workplaces in these photographs and many of my favourite places, including St Dunstan in the East church garden and Tate Modern.
scherpstellen, kleffe vingers
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 4 January 2023].
life's a short summer, man a flower
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 1 January 2023].
The final stanza of Samuel Johnson's poem about Winter (with some tweaks), inscribed on a headstone in Arbroath Abbey that I captured in April 2011.
The original quote reads:
Catch the, O! catch the transient hour,
Improve each moment as it flies;
Life's a short Summer - man a flower,
He dies - alas! how soon he dies!
Though the quote on Wikiquote varies from the above and attributes it to a poem with a different name and only cites the final stanza.
I don't have a copy of the original poem to be 100% sure which is correct, but I'm okay with artistic license on headstones.
with friends like these, who needs anemones?
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 30 December 2022].
a mathematical bridge
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 30 December 2022].
arseways round
The portrait of Mouri above I took while cat-sitting her and her father, Dugla, nicely sums up 2022.
It wasn’t a bad year as such.
It was just a bit befuddling, stressful and a constant balancing act.
I experienced worse and more frequent panic attacks earlier in the year due to health issues. I’m hoping the trigger has just turned out to be a new food intolerance (the jury’s still out). But I became near-agoraphobic for a period.
In addition, I got a bite guard and discovered I was both vitamin D deficient and B12 anaemic again 15 years later.
With some time, stern self-talk, medical tests and procedures, I seem to have brought the psychological impact of the potential food intolerance under control. But I need to confirm my suspicions before things return to “normal” (though, even then, the likely culprit is so widespread that “normal” is definitely subjective).
My year started well with temporary work beginning in mid-January. It allowed me to get back on my feet financially after a couple of years of sporadic work and the lingering psychological impact from previous jobs.
And the job offer came despite my being open about my experience photographing roadkill. I shared that in the context of the organisation focussing on haematology as I would potentially have to interact with graphic and disturbing imagery.
Almost a year on, my managers and co-workers are some of the best people I’ve worked with.
They’re inclusive. They understand work-life balance. There’s zero bullying and no alpha male egos to contend with. Bliss.
At this stage, I expect to continue to work with them for a few more months at least, but we’ll see what lies ahead.
Despite the positive start to 2022, the year was bookended by death. And there was also the loss of a beautiful kitteh I stayed with in October.
Anthony left us unexpectedly in January, and a friend’s mother passed in November. So I attended my second-ever virtual funeral toward the beginning and my first-ever in-person funeral toward the end of the year.
Though the degree to which I knew each was quite different, both were meaningful losses.
On the positive side, this year I:
Had my hair cut and coloured for the first time since early October 2019.
Attended my first live gig since the pandemic started.
Visited four art exhibitions.
Read a book cover-to-cover in one evening (okay, technically, it was a short story, but it’s the most I’ve read in book form since 2021…)
Resumed my language studies (late in the year, this is recent).
Continued my letter-writing (albeit just one this year…)
Took some new self-portraits.
Continued to share curated series from my sepulchre work and travel photographs, and I swapped fungi for flowers.
Created the odd digital collage.
Dabbled in AI art.
Engaged with at least 40 people on dating apps (though at least five turned out to be douches) and went on dates with 10 of those I chatted with (who were mostly not those who turned out to be douches).
This year, I found something of a second home in Bromley, cat-sitting Lily, Sammy and Poppy most months of the year.
The current Primark was originally Medhursts department store, where David Bowie used to buy vinyl. And I popped by to look at a couple of the houses he lived in as a lad.
Earlier in the year, while cat-sitting, I revisited the Imperial Arms in Chislehurst and wandered through
Elmstead Wood and
I didn’t travel as far afield as I’d hoped, but I did manage to venture out of London to visit
Leeds Castle and
in Cotton End, just outside of Bedford, and an overnight stay in Bedford a few months later.
And days out in London included revisiting
Regent’s Park with my new co-workers and visiting
the Sky Garden for the first time with friends old and new.
It was a quiet year on the cemetery front.
I revisited Abney Park Cemetery on a first date.
I visited Grove Park Cemetery for the first time.
And dropped in to see William Blake and John Bunyan in Bunhill Fields for the third time.
Stopping to chit-chat with the resident squirrels.
Sitting Lottie (and her loss) led to a renewed friendship with Sarah and a wander along the New River (not new, not a river) from Hornsey to Bowes Park.
Hopefully, in 2023, we’ll continue that walk north from Bowes Park.
It was an absolute pleasure sitting with Lottie earlier this year despite her being poorly.
I love this portrait I took of her because it’s so uncharacteristic of such a sweet-natured kitteh. Obviously, she was yawning - not threatening to decapitate me - at the time. Though it may seem otherwise.
Alongside my new friendship with Lottie and recurring stays with Lily, Sammy and Poppy, and Meg and Mog, I added
Mia (including her cat-sitting me with her cat-mother, Sophie, post-medical procedure),
Dugla,
Mouri and
Bentley to my close feline friends this year.
In 2022, I spent 63 nights with smooshable kittehs and visited kittehs locally 13 times.
I had 10 furry clients. Five of them were new clients.
I’m hoping my mojo will be fully restored in 2023. So I can enjoy kitteh-sits, doggo-sits, and photo walks further afield. And continue to hang out with my faves closer to home.
And on the creative side, I look forward to creating and sharing:
Themed chapbooks (including photographs, writing, collages, sketches, musical compositions and curated playlists).
Collaborations.
Possibly some AI art (but likely incorporated into other work).
More instalments of existing series, including my love letters to london.
New series I’m yet to discover.
I hope your 2022 went as smoothly as possible and that 2023 will bring you lots of good things. xx
until next year #136
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 27 December 2022].
children's mental health gallery
I'm pleased to share three of my self-portraits are included in the Children's Mental Health Gallery, created by The Royal Children's Hospital Melbourne.
Raising awareness of mental health through art, the gallery showcases artwork about mental health experiences.
They are dedicated to amplifying and celebrating lived experiences of mental health challenges and recovery.
The gallery launched on 10 October 2022 as part of Mental Health Week 2022 and will be accessible for six months until 10 May 2023.
I strongly encourage you to take a look at the gallery. There's a variety of photography, painting, collage and sculpture, as well as audio and written works.
The artwork comes from a mixture of those supported by The Royal Children's Hospital and those, like me, who were invited to contribute and have lived/living experiences of mental health challenges and recovery.
(I intended to share this back in October but, you know, life).
two heads are better than one
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 20 December 2022].
until next year #137
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 25 December 2022].
lichenometry
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 19 December 2022].
I love when my photography leads me to discover new (to me) and very geeky things.
In seeking an appropriate word to use as a title for this image, I read about an intriguing way of measuring time and dating rock.
No, not that kind of dating.
Rather, establishing the age of exposed rock.
a little christmas flare
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 23 December 2022].
the free gift of god is eternal life
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 21 December 2022].
la vie en rose
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 16 December 2022].