arseways round

December 31, 2022

The portrait of Mouri above I took while cat-sitting her and her father, Dugla, nicely sums up 2022.

It wasn’t a bad year as such.

It was just a bit befuddling, stressful and a constant balancing act.

I experienced worse and more frequent panic attacks earlier in the year due to health issues. I’m hoping the trigger has just turned out to be a new food intolerance (the jury’s still out). But I became near-agoraphobic for a period.

In addition, I got a bite guard and discovered I was both vitamin D deficient and B12 anaemic again 15 years later.

With some time, stern self-talk, medical tests and procedures, I seem to have brought the psychological impact of the potential food intolerance under control. But I need to confirm my suspicions before things return to “normal” (though, even then, the likely culprit is so widespread that “normal” is definitely subjective).

My year started well with temporary work beginning in mid-January. It allowed me to get back on my feet financially after a couple of years of sporadic work and the lingering psychological impact from previous jobs.

And the job offer came despite my being open about my experience photographing roadkill. I shared that in the context of the organisation focussing on haematology as I would potentially have to interact with graphic and disturbing imagery.

Almost a year on, my managers and co-workers are some of the best people I’ve worked with.

They’re inclusive. They understand work-life balance. There’s zero bullying and no alpha male egos to contend with. Bliss.

At this stage, I expect to continue to work with them for a few more months at least, but we’ll see what lies ahead.

Despite the positive start to 2022, the year was bookended by death. And there was also the loss of a beautiful kitteh I stayed with in October.

Anthony left us unexpectedly in January, and a friend’s mother passed in November. So I attended my second-ever virtual funeral toward the beginning and my first-ever in-person funeral toward the end of the year.

Though the degree to which I knew each was quite different, both were meaningful losses.

On the positive side, this year I:

Had my hair cut and coloured for the first time since early October 2019.
Attended my first live gig since the pandemic started.
Visited four art exhibitions.
Read a book cover-to-cover in one evening (okay, technically, it was a short story, but it’s the most I’ve read in book form since 2021…)
Resumed my language studies (late in the year, this is recent).
Continued my letter-writing (albeit just one this year…)
Took some new self-portraits.
Continued to share curated series from my sepulchre work and travel photographs, and I swapped fungi for flowers.
Created the odd digital collage.
Dabbled in AI art.
Engaged with at least 40 people on dating apps (though at least five turned out to be douches) and went on dates with 10 of those I chatted with (who were mostly not those who turned out to be douches).

primark, formerly medhursts [bromley, london, england, 2022]

This year, I found something of a second home in Bromley, cat-sitting Lily, Sammy and Poppy most months of the year.

The current Primark was originally Medhursts department store, where David Bowie used to buy vinyl. And I popped by to look at a couple of the houses he lived in as a lad.

Earlier in the year, while cat-sitting, I revisited the Imperial Arms in Chislehurst and wandered through

untitled #59 [elmstead wood, bromley, london, england, 2022]

Elmstead Wood and

Marvels Wood.

I didn’t travel as far afield as I’d hoped, but I did manage to venture out of London to visit

untitled #21 [leeds castle, maidstone, kent, england, 2022]

Leeds Castle and

Bletchley Park.

As well as catching up with Meg and Mog in their new home

untitled #6 [cotton end, bedfordshire, england, 2022]

in Cotton End, just outside of Bedford, and an overnight stay in Bedford a few months later.

And days out in London included revisiting

untitled #2122 [regent’s park, london, england, 2022]

Regent’s Park with my new co-workers and visiting

the sky’s the limit [sky garden, city of london, london, england, 2022]

the Sky Garden for the first time with friends old and new.

It was a quiet year on the cemetery front.

untitled #52 [abney park cemetery, stoke newington, london, england, 2022]

I revisited Abney Park Cemetery on a first date.

watering can [grove park cemetery, grove park, london, england, 2022]

I visited Grove Park Cemetery for the first time.

untitled #2540 [bunhill fields, islington, london, england, 2022]

And dropped in to see William Blake and John Bunyan in Bunhill Fields for the third time.

untitled #2553 [bunhill fields, islington, london, england, 2022]

Stopping to chit-chat with the resident squirrels.

untitled #2 [new river, hornsey, london, england, 2022]

Sitting Lottie (and her loss) led to a renewed friendship with Sarah and a wander along the New River (not new, not a river) from Hornsey to Bowes Park.

Hopefully, in 2023, we’ll continue that walk north from Bowes Park.

It was an absolute pleasure sitting with Lottie earlier this year despite her being poorly.

I love this portrait I took of her because it’s so uncharacteristic of such a sweet-natured kitteh. Obviously, she was yawning - not threatening to decapitate me - at the time. Though it may seem otherwise.

Alongside my new friendship with Lottie and recurring stays with Lily, Sammy and Poppy, and Meg and Mog, I added

Mia (including her cat-sitting me with her cat-mother, Sophie, post-medical procedure),

Dugla,

Mouri and

Bentley to my close feline friends this year.

In 2022, I spent 63 nights with smooshable kittehs and visited kittehs locally 13 times.

I had 10 furry clients. Five of them were new clients.

I’m hoping my mojo will be fully restored in 2023. So I can enjoy kitteh-sits, doggo-sits, and photo walks further afield. And continue to hang out with my faves closer to home.

And on the creative side, I look forward to creating and sharing:

Themed chapbooks (including photographs, writing, collages, sketches, musical compositions and curated playlists).
Collaborations.
Possibly some AI art (but likely incorporated into other work).
More instalments of existing series, including my love letters to london.
New series I’m yet to discover.

I hope your 2022 went as smoothly as possible and that 2023 will bring you lots of good things. xx

on the fence

July 19, 2021

^{[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 12 July 2021].}

Despite the hormonal cocktail of the past weekend and a bit, it was predominantly filled with much-needed human interactions.

Long conversations - both virtual and face-to-face - with people I've had long-lasting friendships with.

A mix of topics, a mix of emotions. But all, ultimately, supportive, inspiring, empathetic. And, once again, demonstrating how lucky I am to have built up such a wonderfully supportive network of humans around me.

I had the chance to repay one of those good friends by visiting him in hospital yesterday while he's in for observation. (He's doing well and in good spirits). That's pretty much the only way you'll ever manage to lure me into central London on the day of a football final, especially where England are in the finals and hosting them.

Unfortunately, England's loss last night resulted in an utterly predictable outpouring of racism, hooliganism and destruction. I'm not convinced a win would have changed that aspect of the night. The only positive I took from the situation was a deathly silence post-game which I would not have enjoyed if they had won.

On the positive side: venturing into the city yesterday provided me with a chance to refocus my attention on someone else's situation and away from my interior monologue.

We had a two-plus hour conversation about our respective futures. About writing. About my art. About grasping opportunities.

On the negative side: I finally saw the National Covid Memorial Wall along the Thames, below St Thomas' Hospital, firsthand. It was overwhelming in its sheer extent, and I didn't have the emotional strength to walk the length of it. The complete lifting of England's covid restrictions in a week feels all too soon.

Some contract work I've been doing has now ended. My latest freelance gig was completed last week. So this week, I will be busy drumming up some new work, creating for you, and having at least one potential flatmate viewing my flat.

I also have many ideas whirling around in my head that I'd like to start developing.

And, at least for the rest of this evening, I'll be enjoying the sound of the rain outside my window while I edit more photos.

I hope your week is full of rainbows after the storms x

untitled #781 [the stumpery, golders hill park, golders green, london, england, united kingdom, 2020]

love letters to london: the wild life

March 7, 2021

^{[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 28 February 2021].}

So, here's my first proper love letter to London!

Firstly, I need to clarify that the aspects I'll highlight in these love letters are not necessarily exclusive to London or even to the UK.

I recognise the global nature of so much in our world means very little of what we enjoy about a place is native to that place or is exclusive in any way.

This series will highlight things I've either discovered in London, appreciated most from my time here, or that I feel London does well.

For example, I know Australia does wildlife like no other continent. It might not have the most extensive collection of native animals (or maybe it does. I haven't checked the stats on that!) But it has some of the most distinctive and recognisable ones.

But there are critters here you don't see roaming in the wild in Australia. And so, for me, London is the place I've had the opportunity to discover these fellas and observe them in their day-to-day activities. Many, literally, in my own backyard.

untitled #69 [new barnet, london, england, united kingdom, 2018]

Despite living in a built-up suburban area of north London, I get to see eastern grey squirrels chasing each other in my backyard almost every day.

I get to see red foxes lurking about under the sensor light in the wee hours, leaving their tracks in the snow.

I get to check out tits perched on the branches outside my bedroom. Great tits, even.

I hear the hopeless karaoke of Eurasian magpies (beautiful birds but they cannae hold a tune!) and the lovely song of the blackbird, right from my cosy bed.

untitled #422 [city of london cemetery and crematorium, manor park, london, england, united kingdom, 2011]

I'm not going to lie: this could have been devoted to squirrels. And I'm not discounting the possibility that I will, at some point, share a post that is purely squirrel, squirrel, squirrel.

I mean, they love nuts, toast and hanging around in cemeteries. We haven't discussed their opinion of cheese and cider. But I feel sure we see eye-to-eye on most things, aside from spending time at great heights and climbing trees.

I know the eastern grey is seen as an invasive species and has driven out a large proportion of the native red squirrel population. But they are super-cute little guys.

However, I thought I should also highlight some other critters I find engaging.

Unfortunately, I see foxes a lot but never manage to capture them well for various reasons. Many times because I'm indoors looking out from my bedroom or kitchen, other times because it's twilight or night-time and I'm only equipped with the camera on my phone. A neighbour of mine takes beautiful photos of them. Apparently, they hang out in his allotment, so I want to find out if I can drop in some time to meet them.

untitled #45 [regent’s canal, camden town, london, england, united kingdom, 2018]

It feels like mute swans are everywhere in central London parks and canals. I'm not sure that's true, but I see them a lot, and they are one of the more difficult birds to capture well in photographs. Their bright white feathers often end up blown out in photos, especially where they're submerged and surrounded by dark, murky water.

untitled #92 [regent’s canal, the regent’s park, london, england, united kingdom, 2018]

They definitely seem less daunted by humans than other birds may be, though, not necessarily 'tame'. Likely because "they are protected under the Wildlife and Countryside Act 1981, and killing or even injuring one carries a £5,000 fine or six months in jail. Stealing a swan egg is considered an equal offence and carries the same maximum penalty".

Apparently, the 'punishable by death' law was never repealed either. Not that I have any intention to do these graceful fellows any harm, let alone consume them. But worth knowing.

untitled #123 [the regent’s park, london, england, united kingdom, 2018]

An introduced species like myself, the Canada Goose seems to be as common as muck around London.

he don’t give a coot [the regent’s park, london, england, united kingdom, 2018]

They are rather pleasing to look at, and they don't give a coot about other birds.

untitled #5 [regent’s canal, camden town, london, england, 2018]

Speaking of coots, apparently, they're also commonly found in Australia, but I only noticed these masked birdies once I moved to London.

untitled #126 [the regent’s park, london, england, united kingdom, 2018]

Back to some native birdlife, the grey heron is pretty eye-catching. Its yellow eyes, especially.

lifeguard [the regent’s park, london, england, united kingdom, 2018]

They also appear to be self-appointed lifeguards. Keeping an eye on the safety of other birds and animals on lakes in London's parks.

This post only just scratches the surface of the animalia that has caught my eye here in London. I'm regularly discovering birds, animals and insects that are new to me. Whether out and about in parks around London or just in my own yard. And photographing them where I can, of course!

untitled #73 [grand union canal — paddington arm, kensal green, london, england, 2020]

reflections on an unprecedented year

January 7, 2021

Usually, I edit photos and write my end of year wrap-up blog on New Year’s Eve.

2020 was no different. Except I found myself a bit overwhelmed as I tried to string together my thoughts about the past year and edit photos to post in time for the midnight cut-off.

I actually posted what I wrote just before midnight that night, and it was live on here for about five hours. But after a very brief phone call with Simon, then about five hours of celebrating the coming of the new year virtually with my friend, Sophie, I decided to unpublish it and revisit it with fresh eyes.

The opening of my original post felt like too much of a political rant. And whilst I can often be heard ranting about politics, I decided that’s not what I want this post to be.

Since my wrap-up didn’t make it online in time for the end of the year in the form I’d intended, I ended up taking a little longer to put the post together. I wasn’t planning it to take this long, but I guess that’s what happens when life is a little stressful.

So here it is. I hope you enjoy it :)

 By the beginning of 2020, my fractured ankle was gradually improving, and I could get out and about more.

teleporter [winter lights, cabot square, canary wharf, london, england, 2020]

In January, my friend, Khanisa, and I ventured out into the night to see the Winter Lights at Canary Wharf.

In February and March, Simon introduced me to more English towns and villages.

riverside drive [rickmansworth, hertfordshire, england, 2020]

We visited Rickmansworth.

untitled #41 [holy trinity church, wareside, hertfordshire, england, 2020]

Ware and Wareside.

I also managed to visit Tate Modern for the Dora Maar exhibition with friends from Australia. With heightened caution and hand sanitiser, of course.

Unfortunately, after eight years as a member, I recently had to cancel my membership until I have a steady income again.

angels watch over them [parish church of st john-at-hampstead, hampstead, london, england, 2020]

Simon and I took a wander around Hampstead on 8 March.

As we ate dinner at the King William IV pub after our explorations, we had no idea it would be our last pub meal for precisely four months.

untitled #7323 [camden town, london, england, 2020]

A couple of weeks later, Simon and I took advantage of the London lockdown to experience a drive through an eerily empty City of London and Camden.

Redundant?

In late March, I was made redundant.

I’ll say no more than it was one of the best things to happen to me in 2020, a year that was mostly okay for me, despite the pandemic.

Hardly!

While I may not have brought in a wage during much of 2020, I found other ways to keep myself occupied.

The 100 Day Project started on 7 April and seemed a perfect opportunity to explore something new. 

Namely, cut out and keep. 100 digital collages created using a mix of illustrations and paintings in the public domain, in many instances combined with my own photos. 

The project provided a welcome distraction for me from everything else going on at the time. And — based on the results of my Instagram Top Nine for 2020 — chimed with many of my followers. It also earned me likes from one of my most admired filmmakers, Guy Maddin, which was a bit of a highlight for the year.

The natural world

Along with toilet paper and pasta shortages, and the joys of queuing, 2020 brought me an increased appreciation of nature.

I learned a lot last year by slowing down and observing the world around me.

untitled #133 [monken hadley common, barnet, london, england, 2020]

Wandering through the woods with Simon and my camera.

Redesigning our shared garden with Simon and my neighbour.

Learning about and growing plants in my flat.

I talked a lot to plants. I got excited about new leaves, flowers, growth of any kind. And I squeed when I saw my babies flourishing in new ways. It was kind of embarrassing…

Not pictured: our sunflowers, Anya potatoes, ruby red Swiss chard, leeks, coriander, parsley and thyme, all of which came and went in 2020, and our hyacinths, spider plant, flaming Katy, ivy and avocado, which are all gradually coming along.

Parklife

Though our wanders in 2020 rarely terminated at a pub — as they would have done in previous years — we visited and revisited many parks for our daily permitted exercise.

on the precipice [monken hadley common, barnet, london, england, 2020]

We visited Monken Hadley Common and Hadley Wood multiple times.

untitled #399 [hampstead heath, hampstead, london, england, 2020]

I finally made it Hampstead Heath. Not once, but twice!

 The second visit was part of a socially-distanced meander with Julie and her Simon from my place via Alexandra Park and Palace, part of the Parkland Walk, Hampstead, Highgate Wood and Kentish Town.

untitled #878 [pondwicks meadow, amersham, buckinghamshire, england, 2020]

We popped over to Amersham for a day out on our anniversary, discovering Pondwicks Meadow.

And we made a new friend in The Stumpery at Golders Hill Park.

Not pictured: Finsbury Park, Gillespie Park Ecology Centre, Theydon Bois, Walthamstow Marshes, Walters Close Open Space in Cheshunt, Hampstead Heath Extension and Minchenden Oak Garden.

The Magnificent Seven

When restrictions allowed, Simon and I continued our visits to London’s Magnificent Seven cemeteries.

resting [tower hamlets cemetery park, mile end, london, england, 2020]

We belatedly celebrated my birthday with a visit to Tower Hamlets Cemetery Park in April after finding Kensal Green Cemetery was closed to all but those attending funerals.

untitled #629 [highgate cemetery west, highgate, london, england, 2020]

As I’m a Friend of Highgate Cemetery Trust, we had the chance to be guinea pigs for the new self-guided tours of the west cemetery in July.

While I will always recommend the guided tours there, it was lovely to wander (mostly) at will through the overgrown hillside cemetery.

untitled #252 [kensal green cemetery, kensal green, london, england, 2020]

Fortuitously, in December I happened to see Gasometer Gal’s tweet that Kensal Green Gasworks had been reduced to one gasholder. The penny finally dropped: Kensal Green Cemetery was the one we’d seen set against gasometers featured in episodes of the Channel 4 TV series, Misfits!

So we celebrated an early Christmas Day our way visiting the Kensal Green Cemetery and gasworks. My early Christmas present was two of my obsessions — cemeteries and gasometers — colliding.

Hopefully, this year we'll visit the two I haven't been to before: Brompton Cemetery and West Norwood Cemetery. And maybe we'll revisit some of the others.

Last gas-p 

Which brings me to the loss of more London gasometers in 2020, and the ones I managed to capture last year.

The New Southgate Gasworks disappeared by about mid-2020. I had photographed them previously but missed documenting their dismantling.

The remaining gasholders at Bethnal Green/Haggerston will be incorporated into a new residential development similar to those at Kings Cross. I recently signed a petition to influence how it will be done.

untitled #141 [kensal green gasworks, kensal green, london, england, 2020]

As for Kensal Green Gasworks, one gasometer was removed in 2020. It's unclear if the remaining one will disappear from the skyline or if it will be incorporated into the new development. It seems developers behind Gas Holder Park in Kings Cross may be involved.

 Here's hoping the canals in Kensal Green and Haggerston can preserve a little of their iconic appearance.

Long-distance dedications

I hadn't expected to see my parents again in the flesh this year. So, despite the travel restrictions caused by the pandemic, not much changed in that respect.

However, the extended Victorian lockdown meant Mum and Dad were cut off from the rest of our family for most of the year. And due to temporary restrictions at my Mum's nursing home, Dad was unable to visit her at one stage.

Mum likely didn't notice and has been, thankfully, otherwise unaffected so far. But all of us being so distant from Dad was hard. I'm hoping Australia can continue to maintain tight control on the coronavirus and avoid that happening again.

On the upside, it meant Dad and I had long meandering conversations on both serious and frivolous subjects once or twice a week on Skype most of the year.

The wonderful nursing home staff made it possible to Skype with Mum on her occasional good days.

Instant group messaging has also been a saviour, especially in times of family medical emergencies.

New discoveries I made in 2020:

Being an introvert has its advantages during a pandemic, going in and out of lockdown.
I have some lovely neighbours, and we're actually a pretty strong community in my street and others nearby.
Watching friends and acquaintances get caught up in conspiracy theories is not helpful for my mental health.
There are some tasty no and low alcohol ciders out there. (Though why are they often as or more expensive than full strength ones? And when will cider makers start selling 10 can cases of them rather than individual bottles?)
While I'm definitely still a dog person, maybe cats have a certain charm.

Looking forward to it (whatever it is) 

Though there’s a great deal of uncertainty ahead, I’m still optimistic for 2021. Not like “this will be my best year ever”, just a cautious optimism for now.

I’m not overly hopeful for much travel this year. I’ll settle for a weekend away somewhere within the UK at some stage. We’ll have to see what the latter half of the year brings.

Maybe vaccinations will open the country up faster than we expect. I’m not counting chickens yet though…

I’m hoping Simon and I can make a home together.

And I’m also hoping I can build on the work I’ve done over the past nine months to head closer to self-employment through my photography, writing and other endeavours. Not least due to the ongoing pandemic, I’m keen to be more self-sufficient in terms of my income. 

Patronise me

If you'd like to help me with that there's a smorgasbord of ways:

Patronise me.

Buy my work! Contact me directly for print purchases. I hope to get my store online soon.

Buy my products through RedBubble.

Commission some work: photographs, collages, writing. Let’s chat!

Hire me for some photography (not weddings, sorry!), writing, design and/or digital marketing.

Got something else you think I'd be perfect for? Hit me up!

Thank you to my wonderful patrons, my print customers and those who used my marketing and website expertise in 2020.

I hope this year turns out better for all of us than we might expect and I send you love. x