[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 9 December 2025].
a wreath with all the trimmings
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 6 December 2025].
a light is from our household gone
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 3 December 2025].
red roses and reindeer
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 1 December 2025].
It's that time again.
As has become something of a custom, life is "all change" again this December (well, at least on the work front).
Despite that, I'm aiming to share new images from my season's grievings series every couple of days between now and Christmas and make them public approximately two days later.
I hope you enjoy!
I photographed this grave in Abney Park Cemetery in February 2012. The inscription is hard to read through the plant life, but it could be for Thelma Marie Lucas. Alas, I haven't been able to find anything to confirm that or to inform me more about the interred.
I hope that those who love you miss you this much and more after you're gone.
(Though, without the requirement of it being so physically visible. I personally don't want to be buried, so there would be nowhere specific like this for those who love and miss me to show it in the same way.)
uplifting
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 25 November 2025].
pretty fly for a white guy
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 7 November 2025].
When I photographed these fun guys on a grave in Hietaniemen hautausmaa (Hietaniemi Cemetery) in Helsinki, I honestly thought they were artificial.
I probably couldn't have got much closer, as the graves were quite close together, but if I'd realised they were natural, I probably would have tried.
Having viewed them, zoomed in, I'm sure they're real. There's no artificial appearance to the stem of the mature fly agaric mushroom in the front.
So, perhaps not my most artistic photograph, but some pretty impressive specimens captured in pixels for a Fungi Friday.
angel, impatiens, elephant's ears
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 3 November 2025].
As mentioned in a previous post, the tammerkoski on a slow day, I developed large blisters on my pinky toes during my first day wandering around Tampere with Pia.
As a consequence of that and us indulging in a much-needed lie-in (well, not that late a lie-in for either of us, really!), we had to forego our planned walk in the forest by the lake with Max.
I had hoped to see some of the beautiful natural landscapes Tampere has to offer, which I'd seen from photos and videos Pia has shared from her walks. I guess that gives me a reason to return to Tampere ;)
So, on my third day in Finland (my second and last half day in Tampere before heading back to Helsinki), Pia took me to Kalevankankaan hautausmaa (Kalevankangas Cemetery) for a quick wander with my camera before my train departed, and she went to collect her children.
The cemetery is extremely well-maintained, as is Hietaniemen hautausmaa (Hietaniemi Cemetery), which I visited on my last day in Helsinki.
There's a lovely natural parkland feel to the cemetery, without it falling into the 'managed neglect' of many of London's cemeteries (which I also love), and all the colours were beautifully saturated after the morning's rain.
Notably, few (if any) plastic flowers adorned the graves. There were live plants in and around the graves, which I believe are predominantly maintained by the cemetery groundskeepers.
It was a lovely way to spend our morning together, except for the mild panic attack I had, which led us to scarper to the station without locating Pia's favourite grave. Though I guess that's yet another reason to return to Tampere!
bianca frangipani
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 17 August 2025].
Early in the new year, I received a message in my Instagram DMs from a woman in Massachusetts, Monica, who had seen photographs I'd taken at Pinner New Cemetery. I posted several photos I took in December 2023 as part of my annual season's grievings series in the lead-up to Christmas.
Monica's aunt, Bianca, passed away tragically at the age of 31 in 1962 and is buried in Pinner New Cemetery.
Bianca and Monica's mother had kept in touch over the years, but family circumstances had kept them apart. With Bianca in London and Monica's mother in the US, she (and Monica) had never seen the memorial laid on Bianca's grave in the cemetery.
My friend and former flatmate, Floriana, was the reason I visited Pinner New Cemetery in December 2023, as she works in Edgware on Saturdays and was attending a work Christmas lunch at a restaurant in Pinner. Consequently, we'd organised to meet at The Queen's Head before her lunch.
Monica asked me if I would be willing and able to revisit the cemetery to take photographs of the grave for her.
Coincidentally, I already had plans to meet Floriana again the following weekend. We had planned for Floriana to revisit my neck of the woods (our shared flat was in Wood Green, and I live in the adjacent suburb of Hornsey) to meet.
However, I contacted Floriana and suggested we meet in Edgware or Pinner instead, as that would allow me to revisit the cemetery and be more convenient for her. (As it turned out, there weren't many options for pubs near her work, so she drove me home from the cemetery, and we went to my local instead, as we'd originally planned).
When I agreed to look for Bianca's grave, Monica sent me further information, including the plot number, maps of the cemetery and the location of the grave.
Exploring Pinner New Cemetery
Looking at the map Monica had sent me, I was almost 100% certain I hadn't ventured into the section where her aunt had been laid to rest, but I looked through my existing photographs first to confirm my memory.
When I visited Pinner New Cemetery for the first time, I almost immediately came across a section dedicated to infants and children, which was towards the front of the cemetery. The section was simultaneously beautiful and heartbreaking, and I walked the full length of it to a corner of the cemetery, taking photos as I went.
Among other things, the child and infant section offered plenty of opportunities to capture season's grievings images, as so many of the graves were decorated for past Christmases (it was slightly early for decorations for the current year).
I explored other areas of the cemetery during my approximately 45-minute visit. However, as the days were short at that time of year, I stopped taking photographs at about 15:30 and started heading home, having only covered about half of the cemetery.
It was my second cemetery visit of the day - I visited Paines Lane Cemetery around midday before meeting Floriana - and ultimately, I had an even longer journey home afterwards than I'd expected. I don't recall the exact journey time, but it was substantially more than the already long 1.5-hour Tube journey it should have been due to train issues.
Seeking others' ancestors
A woman from Ontario contacted me in June 2023 via a comment on my photo of a grave in Brockley and Ladywell Cemeteries. She approached me about locating and photographing the graves of two of her ancestors.
Knowing how vast and overgrown those two cemeteries are, that there's no clear demarcation between them and how old the graves she sought were, I hadn't been too hopeful of finding them.
On that occasion, I spent about 45 minutes searching for the graves with no luck, and I couldn't find any groundskeeping staff on site to ask for assistance.
I contacted the Friends of the Cemetery shortly after my visit to see if someone could point me in the right direction. I was cat-sitting for a friend nearby so I could return more easily than usual. However, without a section letter, they couldn't assist. I passed the information on to the woman who had contacted me, but she chose not to pay for access to records that might have provided her with the complete plot number for me to follow up further.
Finding Bianca
I was far more confident that I could locate Bianca's grave with the map and plot location provided.
Monica had mentioned in her messages that she feared the grave would be overgrown. I hadn't expressed my concern that it may be worse than that.
When I visited both Paines Lane Cemetery and Pinner New Cemetery, I recall being shocked at how poorly maintained the graves seemed. Admittedly, I was visiting during the depths of winter, and it had been raining much of the time while I wandered through Paines Lane Cemetery. And while the weather had cleared somewhat before I reached Pinner New Cemetery, the paths were still far from dry. But the drainage in Pinner New Cemetery seemed insufficient, especially in the sections I spent most time in, which were at the bottom of a gentle slope.
I was nervous that I would visit Bianca's grave and find it waterlogged.
Thankfully, on the day I visited, it was a brisk three degrees, and the grass and flowers still held a light frost in the early afternoon, but there were blue skies and no rain to worry about. Bianca's plot is also at one of the higher points of the cemetery, so it's less affected by poor drainage.
The map Monica sent me proved very helpful in locating Bianca's grave, although I initially overshot into the furthest section of the cemetery.
Once I rechecked my location, I questioned what the map was showing me. Beyond the first row or two of graves near the path, a large part of the section seemed to be only lawn at first glance.
But then I realised there were flat headstones inlaid into the lawn that had become partially sunken. That made it hard to be 100% sure which plot was which, and I initially lifted away fallen leaves from a gravestone about two plots over from Bianca's.
I should have photographed each gravestone before I pulled away the leaves, in case I had found the correct grave. But I didn't think of that as I was more intent on discovering Bianca's final resting place than making aesthetic choices and capturing photographic 'reveals'.
When I found the right plot, I was pleased but simultaneously disappointed for Monica and her mother that the grass and soil had encroached so far across the inscription.
After removing all the leaves, I found that, short of asking a groundskeeper (none were in sight) or gently taking a trowel (that I didn't have) to the surrounding lawn, I would only be able to photograph about half to two-thirds of the gravestone for them.
But at least I could see enough of Bianca's name, month of death and age at passing that I could be sure I had found her.
I took photos of the gravestone and of it in the context of the surrounding graves to share with Monica. I placed some of the leaves I had removed from the marker back onto the grass by the grave.
Although I'm not particularly spiritual, I talked to Bianca while photographing her gravestone. Letting her know her niece had sent me to find her and that her family was thinking of her.
I took most of the photos of the grave with my D700, but I captured a couple with my iPhone and sent one to Monica before I left the cemetery to let her know I had found Bianca.
Monica hadn't told her mother about my mission until she sent her the photograph I had sent. It was lovely to hear about her emotional response to the photo.
It gave me a warm glow to have been able to go just a little out of my way to capture something so important to others, to be their eyes across the pond.
a cornish churchyard
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 17 March 2025].
So, in the end, I didn't manage more than the first day of this year's Februllage.
I didn't start the 100 Days Project, and though it's still within the 100 days, I'll be honest and say there's no way on Science's green earth I'll manage it this year.
I'm somewhat disappointed on both counts. Unfortunately, my art practice is the one area that has had to be deprioritised for a while. But, at the same time, I'm not giving myself a hard time about it because, sometimes, that's life.
I did get away for five nights to Cornwall with a friend and my "proper" camera, so I've not been idle with my art. I'm just a little restricted in editing and sharing my work because my day job, pet-sitting and life have left me exhausted a lot lately.
I also spent some time (finally!) cutting up magazines for future collages during February. And I have more to hand to cut up while I'm sitting my floofy friend, Jilly.
In Cornwall, visiting Tate St Ives, I discovered a selection of books explicitly designed to be cut up to create collages. So, I spent money on those instead of replacing my dilapidated trainers.
Towards the beginning of the year, I received an email about my Etihad Guest points expiring at the end of January. That prompted me to check my balance with Emirates Skywards (zero) and Qantas.
It turned out that I had a not insignificant number of Qantas Frequent Flyer (QFF) points that would expire at the end of February if I didn't use some or all of them or take a new flight. Not enough to get me even one way to Australia. Perhaps enough to get me one way to Singapore or the UAE. But enough to get me a return flight to a variety of places in mainland Europe I haven't previously visited or Iceland (which has long been high on my list of places to visit).
However, visiting Iceland solo is problematic, as I don't drive, and it's one of those places you seem to have to unless you know someone there who drives to act as a tour guide or you want to fork out money for tours.
But there were a couple of places on my list where I know people who live there. Or people who are from there and return to visit family semi-regularly.
Sicily was on my list, as I missed attending a former flatmate's wedding there in 2018, as I was broke after returning from being a bridesmaid in New Zealand. However, her next planned visit is in high summer, when I would die from the heat if I did not already have bookings for sittings in London and Bishop's Stortford.
On further investigation, visiting some of my other preferences in mainland Europe didn't make sense as neither Qantas nor their partner airlines fly direct, so I might spend 4+ hours in the air when I could pay for a cheap fare to be there in one to three hours.
But also on my list was Finland, where my lovely friend, Pia, lives. And Qantas fly directly to Helsinki, with reward flights within my QFF points balance.
So, the day before I travelled to Cornwall, I booked return flights from Heathrow to Helsinki in mid-September. I still have an itinerary to plan, but I'll spend some time in the capital and some in Tampere, where Pia lives.
I'm very excited to catch up with Pia in her homeland for once. We met virtually and in person when she was living in London and have caught up most times that she's been back since she returned to Finland.
I'm also excited to see a new country, visit mainland Europe for the first time since September 2014, and go over seas (excluding Australia via airports in other countries - my home country doesn't count as overseas travel) for the first time since 2018 (technically, I've been out of the country (England) at least three times since the pandemic, but not overseas).
I'm always nervous about making plans to visit friends in other countries. Many will enthusiastically invite when it's hypothetical but might not be so welcoming when you ask about suitable dates and discuss more solid travel plans.
It's unlikely that I'll stay with Pia for practical reasons (which I knew in advance and I didn't want to impose anyway), but she's happy to have someone follow through on their threat to visit her in her home country :)
Meanwhile, Phil and I visited the mermaid in St Senara's Church in Zennor, Cornwall, after walking from Sennen Cove to Land's End and back the day before we returned to London. We caught some lovely light in the churchyard (as you can see in the photo above) before venturing into The Tinner's Arms for some tea (for Phil) and a half pint of Cornish cider (for me).
More posts about my Cornwall wanderings are to come as soon as possible!
merry p christ
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 23 December 2024].
green and gold
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 21 December 2024].
The past few days have been hectic, so I had to forgo one of my instalments for the series.
But here's the next one.
fifty missed christmases
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 18 December 2024].
I'm a little late for yesterday's offering, but sharing this image of an infant's grave (still?)born 51 years ago today felt timely.
(Fifty missed Christmases as of today's date).
mum at christmas
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 15 December 2024].
DOLLY
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 13 December 2024].
a solitary red bauble
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 11 December 2024].
white apples and berries
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 9 December 2024].
holly go lightly
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 7 December 2024].
in sure and certain hope
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 1 December 2024].
I'm not seeking a resurrection to eternal life, but I'd appreciate the sure and certain hope of a break from major stresses and upheavals, thankyouverymuch.
I offer my sincerest apologies for my radio silence during November.
Ironically, I foresaw November as a month mostly at home where I could catch up on editing, share more work with you and get ahead of editing for my end-of-year wrap-up blog.
Oh, the naivety!
I did spend most of the month at home. However, I was still seeking a new flatmate, even as late as my last viewing on Saturday, 23 November.
I'm sure you know flatmate-seeking - like house or job-hunting - is a full-time job.
Combined with my full-time day job, part-time pet-sitting (although the overnight stays have a full-time feel), and attempts to keep up with my art, I've essentially been doing four full-time jobs, with my art being the most neglected.
It's not through choice. Believe me.
My art - alongside time spent with my (mostly) four-legged clients - keeps me on an even keel. Mentally, emotionally, and sometimes physically.
As some of you may know through our friendship on Facebook or outside the social spheres, I gave notice on my home of 8.5 years on 27 November.
It was a difficult decision for my heart but a no-brainer for my finances. Once I confirmed a plan B for storing my belongings and temporarily housing my being, accepting the decision was somewhat easier.
It doesn't mean I'm happy about it, or I won't miss the place I've called home for the longest of any homes I've had.
But I'm trying to look at the positives and embrace whatever the future holds for me where 'home' is concerned.
I want to find a new home in the same or a nearby postcode. But from mid-December, I'll be somewhat itinerant. (You know, more so than usual). I'll predominantly be based in south London around my scheduled sittings.
House-hunting, like flatmate-hunting, is a full-time job. I'm hopeful that putting that on hold for a while to get things back on track will free me up to focus again on my art, at least over the festive season and New Year period.
In the meantime, this is a photograph I took in St George's churchyard in September on the Isle of Portland in Dorset.
I have many photographs from that trip to share with you. Hopefully soon.
red bows
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 6 December 2024].
I'm slightly behind schedule but somewhat less stressed.
Only somewhat, but I'm hopeful there will be good news to share more widely in the next few days.
Fingers crossed!
sheltering santa
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 4 December 2024].