hyde family © early 1980s vogue photo (not that vogue…)

loss, family, friends, photo walks, cats and dogs

December 31, 2023

It seems odd to say 2023 was one of the better years for me recently, despite Mum passing on 1 March.

Realistically, I’d probably started mourning her loss in March 2018, when I believed that would be the last time I’d see her in person. It was a mixed blessing to have one more opportunity in October 2019. But I knew when I left Tasmania at the end of that visit that would be the last time.

By the time she passed, we hadn’t even been able to have Skype calls for about a year and a half. And our calls hadn’t involved actual conversation for a long time before that.

So, her passing was more of a continuation and perhaps the closing chapter of my mourning.

Don’t get me wrong: I still semi-regularly well up and have a good cry while thinking about her. But it’s not been as intense as it would have been without her prolonged descent into dementia and multiple false alarms to prepare me for the final eventuality.

her final destination [buttons beach, ulverstone, tasmania, australia, 2023]

We said our farewells, and Mum set off on her final journey on 18 June 2023, when Dad, Robert, Peter and I could finally be in one place.

An old friend, Dee, messaged me soon after to tell me the ocean currents may have taken her to New Zealand.

dad reviving his david bellamy impersonation [tasmanian arboretum, eugenana, tasmania, australia, 2023]

It was the first chance we had to be in one place as a family to say goodbye to Mum, but it was probably also the first time the four of us had been together since early 2007.

john hyde [sunnybank hills, brisbane, queensland, australia, 2023]

With family, loss and the passing of time on my mind, I predominantly spent my month in Australia catching up with family, especially those I hadn’t seen in far too long.

My uncle, John, is one member of my extended family I’ve managed to see on all of my visits since leaving Australia in January 2011. But I enjoyed spending another few days of quality time with him, talking about family and family history, debating politics and catching up with his partner, Verna. And I managed to set him up on WhatsApp so I can call him regularly at no cost.

with the lodwicks © 2023 rhys lodwick [booragoon, perth, western australia, australia, 2023]

My Mum’s side of the family has been harder to catch up with over the years, mainly due to geography. For most of my childhood and teens, they lived in Calgary. And when they returned to Australia, they settled in Perth.

I met Rhys (pictured at left, taking the group selfie) when I was about 11, but I didn’t meet my other cousin, his twin, David (centre back), until Rhys’ wedding about ten years later, in 1998.

I’m ashamed to say that was the last time I’d seen Rhys and my uncle, Graham, until this year. Although, I stayed with my aunt, Patricia, in 2002, when I returned to Australia after my first stint of living in the UK and caught up with David then. Christopher (back right) wasn’t yet born.

So, it was lovely to spend a couple of days getting to know Rhys better while he played tour guide, to spend a few days with his family, and to spend an evening with Mum’s family.

I would have liked to have spent more time with them, but I had so much to cram into just a month. Hopefully, I’ll be able to spend more time next time.

And I caught up with Rhys, his wife, Jenny, and their daughter, Georgia, for an evening when they were in London a few months later.

untitled #20 [sunnybank hills, brisbane, queensland, australia, 2023]

In addition to spending time with family, I was pleased to catch up with my first-ever best friend, Narelle, for the first time in around 39 years. And to spend time with Lisa and Sarah.

untitled #40 [west ulverstone beach, ulverstone, tasmania, australia, 2023]

It was a pleasure, as always, to spend time talking and dining with Victoria while I was in Tasmania, including a rain-sodden wander on West Ulverstone Beach.

untitled #89 [tasmanian arboretum, eugenana, tasmania, australia, 2023]

We wandered around the Tasmanian Arboretum with Cheryl after scattering Mum’s ashes; just what I needed.

I did spy a platypus and took some photos, but they may need quite a lot of enlargement to confirm that!

frilled neck lizard [mindeerup, perth, western australia, australia, 2023]

I took many photos of Perth in the glorious weather as Rhys played tour guide.

Here’s one of a frilled neck lizard sculpture in the Mindeerup section of south Perth, part of Karl Kep Ngoornd-iny (Fire and Water Dreaming) by Yondee Shane Hansen.

In addition to my family, who offered up beds and couches to me during my stay, I want to thank everyone who could make the time to catch up during my (relatively) short time in Melbourne.

It was lovely to catch up with Jess, Preethi and Feih for drinks one night. Ian, David, Pete and Corey the next night. Brunch with Richard and his daughter, Sienna, dinners with David and Anthony, and a pint and chips with Jason.

(I hope I haven’t forgotten anyone!)

anthony horan [springvale botanical cemetery, springvale, melbourne, victoria, australia, 2023]

Special thanks to Amy and Chris for shuttling me and Richard to Springvale Botanical Cemetery to visit Anthony Horan’s grave and to Richard for the engaging natter on the train (and apologies for getting us on the wrong train!)

sunshine on grief [brookwood cemetery, brookwood, surrey, england, 2023]

Usually, my visits to cemeteries are for purely photographic purposes. But this year, I found myself in cemeteries to visit friends.

That’s how I came to be in Brookwood Cemetery, the largest cemetery in the UK. It used to have its own dedicated railway, including first-class carriages for the dead, running direct from the London Necropolis Railway Station in Waterloo.

The same station still serves it. But now it’s just the living commuting by train from the main Waterloo Station.

(I knew about the cemetery and the railway well before my visit because of Catharine Arnold’s book, Necropolis: London and its Dead, which I read many years ago. I’ll return for a more leisurely photo walk in future).

I did, of course, also visit cemeteries for purely photographic purposes.

In chronological order, I wandered the following cemeteries:

untitled #48 [plaistow cemetery, bromley, london, england, 2023]

Plaistow Cemetery in Bromley (on my birthday)

untitled #180 [brockley and ladywell cemeteries, brockley, london, england, 2023]

Brockley Cemetery (part of Brockley and Ladywell Cemeteries)

untitled #277 [brockley and ladywell cemeteries, ladywell, london, england, 2023]

Ladywell Cemetery (part of Brockley and Ladywell Cemeteries)

untitled #63 [london road cemetery, bromley, london, england, 2023]

London Road Cemetery in Bromley

Bromley Hill Cemetery

untitled #66 [paines lane cemetery, pinner, london, england, 2023]

Paines Lane Cemetery in Pinner

untitled #199 [pinner new cemetery, pinner, london, england, 2023]

Pinner New Cemetery (probably the worst maintained cemetery I’ve come across, and I include those maintained within the concept of ‘managed neglect’ in that comparison)

untitled #116 [hither green cemetery, hither green, london, england, 2023]

And Hither Green Cemetery, which I’ll have to revisit in 2024, as I arrived about 15 minutes before they closed for the day.

All this talk of death and loss may have you concerned. Never fear: there’s life in the old girl yet.

untitled #115 [birmingham, west midlands, england, 2023]

I didn’t travel as far afield as I’d hoped this year, but I did spend a day wandering Birmingham, its canals, and marvelling at the city’s Spaghetti Junction with fellow photographer Phil Ivens one Sunday.

henley bridge [henley-on-thames, oxfordshire, england, 2023]

I spent a lovely weekend with my distant cousins in Uxbridge, including a day in Henley-on-Thames.

hambleden cinema [hambleden, buckinghamshire, england, 2023]

And Hambleden.

the ashley-joneses and bevans [uxbridge, london, england, 2023]

Once again, it was lovely to spend time with family members I don’t see often enough (though there’s less excuse with these guys as, apart from Malcolm, we live in the same city, albeit on almost opposite sides!)

untitled #104 [new river path, palmers green, london, england, 2023]

I topped and tailed the year by continuing my photo walks along the New River Path.

In February, Sarah joined me to walk from where we left off last time, in Bowes Park, to Palmers Green.

untitled #45 [new river path, palmers green, london, england, 2023]

And in November, Scott joined me for the next stretch from Palmers Green to Enfield.

untitled #35 [grove park nature reserve, grove park, london, england, 2023]

And, on Boxing Day, I took what I thought was a scenic shortcut through Grove Park Nature Reserve, aiming for Hither Green Cemetery, only to find the footbridge as part of the Railway Children Walk was closed for maintenance.

And now, the part of my annual wrap-up you’ve all been waiting for (drum roll).

Here’s the roll call of the new kittehs (and doggos!) I sat this year.

I sat 17 cats, 11 of which were new clients (though two were new kittehs for existing human clients).

I sat three doggos, all new clients and all lovely beasties. Unfortunately, Dougal (pictured above) has now crossed the Rainbow Bridge, passing around the day I left for Australia.

I sat ten fish, four of which were new clients. Six have now gone to fish heaven (only one on my watch, purloined from its pond by a cat or a fox).

Jilly arrived in Bounds Green as Lottie’s successor.

Oscar joined my three regulars in Bromley.

Frank, who loves to cuddle (which is a good thing, as he’s so smooshable!)

Pebbles, an old soul.

Treacle, who is as sweet as…

Milo loves a good game of tug-o-war.

Mango can be entertained on a shoestring (literally) and loves a lap.

I visited her four times over three days in the summer. She knew exactly when I was about to leave and when to curl up cutely on my lap.

Bobby with his “come hither and rub my belly” gaze.

Cino, Bobby’s less aloof brother.

These two were hilarious to listen to when they chatted while they played with their toys.

Bobby and Cino had some fishy friends (two of the three pictured).

George, a cheeky tabby who lives next door to my regulars.

And Lottie, George’s housemate.

I visited these two thrice daily one weekend while sitting my regulars.

And my newest and youngest clients, at 14 weeks, David.

And Stevie.

I slept in someone else’s bed for 160 nights this year (no, not like that).

Between pet-sitting, a weekend visit with my cousins, and my visit to Australia, I was away from home almost 44% of this year!

I loved it, but I will admit I missed my bed, iMac and my own room (though not the scaffolding surrounding our flat for about six months).

The coming year looks quite busy already, but it will be interesting to see whether it will be more or less busy than this year. I already have four new doggo and two new kitteh clients scheduled over the summer.

Before I wish you all a happy new year and the best of everything for 2024, I want to thank all my friends and family who have been there for me during 2023 when I really needed it (and, in many cases, every year before that).

I hope I have been and/or will be there for you when you need it.

Love to you all for 2024 xx

arseways round

December 31, 2022

The portrait of Mouri above I took while cat-sitting her and her father, Dugla, nicely sums up 2022.

It wasn’t a bad year as such.

It was just a bit befuddling, stressful and a constant balancing act.

I experienced worse and more frequent panic attacks earlier in the year due to health issues. I’m hoping the trigger has just turned out to be a new food intolerance (the jury’s still out). But I became near-agoraphobic for a period.

In addition, I got a bite guard and discovered I was both vitamin D deficient and B12 anaemic again 15 years later.

With some time, stern self-talk, medical tests and procedures, I seem to have brought the psychological impact of the potential food intolerance under control. But I need to confirm my suspicions before things return to “normal” (though, even then, the likely culprit is so widespread that “normal” is definitely subjective).

My year started well with temporary work beginning in mid-January. It allowed me to get back on my feet financially after a couple of years of sporadic work and the lingering psychological impact from previous jobs.

And the job offer came despite my being open about my experience photographing roadkill. I shared that in the context of the organisation focussing on haematology as I would potentially have to interact with graphic and disturbing imagery.

Almost a year on, my managers and co-workers are some of the best people I’ve worked with.

They’re inclusive. They understand work-life balance. There’s zero bullying and no alpha male egos to contend with. Bliss.

At this stage, I expect to continue to work with them for a few more months at least, but we’ll see what lies ahead.

Despite the positive start to 2022, the year was bookended by death. And there was also the loss of a beautiful kitteh I stayed with in October.

Anthony left us unexpectedly in January, and a friend’s mother passed in November. So I attended my second-ever virtual funeral toward the beginning and my first-ever in-person funeral toward the end of the year.

Though the degree to which I knew each was quite different, both were meaningful losses.

On the positive side, this year I:

Had my hair cut and coloured for the first time since early October 2019.
Attended my first live gig since the pandemic started.
Visited four art exhibitions.
Read a book cover-to-cover in one evening (okay, technically, it was a short story, but it’s the most I’ve read in book form since 2021…)
Resumed my language studies (late in the year, this is recent).
Continued my letter-writing (albeit just one this year…)
Took some new self-portraits.
Continued to share curated series from my sepulchre work and travel photographs, and I swapped fungi for flowers.
Created the odd digital collage.
Dabbled in AI art.
Engaged with at least 40 people on dating apps (though at least five turned out to be douches) and went on dates with 10 of those I chatted with (who were mostly not those who turned out to be douches).

primark, formerly medhursts [bromley, london, england, 2022]

This year, I found something of a second home in Bromley, cat-sitting Lily, Sammy and Poppy most months of the year.

The current Primark was originally Medhursts department store, where David Bowie used to buy vinyl. And I popped by to look at a couple of the houses he lived in as a lad.

Earlier in the year, while cat-sitting, I revisited the Imperial Arms in Chislehurst and wandered through

untitled #59 [elmstead wood, bromley, london, england, 2022]

Elmstead Wood and

Marvels Wood.

I didn’t travel as far afield as I’d hoped, but I did manage to venture out of London to visit

untitled #21 [leeds castle, maidstone, kent, england, 2022]

Leeds Castle and

Bletchley Park.

As well as catching up with Meg and Mog in their new home

untitled #6 [cotton end, bedfordshire, england, 2022]

in Cotton End, just outside of Bedford, and an overnight stay in Bedford a few months later.

And days out in London included revisiting

untitled #2122 [regent’s park, london, england, 2022]

Regent’s Park with my new co-workers and visiting

the sky’s the limit [sky garden, city of london, london, england, 2022]

the Sky Garden for the first time with friends old and new.

It was a quiet year on the cemetery front.

untitled #52 [abney park cemetery, stoke newington, london, england, 2022]

I revisited Abney Park Cemetery on a first date.

watering can [grove park cemetery, grove park, london, england, 2022]

I visited Grove Park Cemetery for the first time.

untitled #2540 [bunhill fields, islington, london, england, 2022]

And dropped in to see William Blake and John Bunyan in Bunhill Fields for the third time.

untitled #2553 [bunhill fields, islington, london, england, 2022]

Stopping to chit-chat with the resident squirrels.

untitled #2 [new river, hornsey, london, england, 2022]

Sitting Lottie (and her loss) led to a renewed friendship with Sarah and a wander along the New River (not new, not a river) from Hornsey to Bowes Park.

Hopefully, in 2023, we’ll continue that walk north from Bowes Park.

It was an absolute pleasure sitting with Lottie earlier this year despite her being poorly.

I love this portrait I took of her because it’s so uncharacteristic of such a sweet-natured kitteh. Obviously, she was yawning - not threatening to decapitate me - at the time. Though it may seem otherwise.

Alongside my new friendship with Lottie and recurring stays with Lily, Sammy and Poppy, and Meg and Mog, I added

Mia (including her cat-sitting me with her cat-mother, Sophie, post-medical procedure),

Dugla,

Mouri and

Bentley to my close feline friends this year.

In 2022, I spent 63 nights with smooshable kittehs and visited kittehs locally 13 times.

I had 10 furry clients. Five of them were new clients.

I’m hoping my mojo will be fully restored in 2023. So I can enjoy kitteh-sits, doggo-sits, and photo walks further afield. And continue to hang out with my faves closer to home.

And on the creative side, I look forward to creating and sharing:

Themed chapbooks (including photographs, writing, collages, sketches, musical compositions and curated playlists).
Collaborations.
Possibly some AI art (but likely incorporated into other work).
More instalments of existing series, including my love letters to london.
New series I’m yet to discover.

I hope your 2022 went as smoothly as possible and that 2023 will bring you lots of good things. xx

a low ebb

December 31, 2021

2020 had its challenges, but I’m not going to lie. For me, personally, 2021 was a bitch.

I’m not going to expend more energy expanding upon that topic in this post.

I’ve tried to stop giving oxygen to elements in my life that proved to be unhealthy this year. Possibly for the first time in my whole life, that involved cutting ties with an ex-partner.

While this year has been a hard one for many reasons, there have been definite highlights.

And, especially when I was sick with Covid-19 back in July, I was overwhelmingly reminded of the brilliant global support network I have. I’m still gobsmacked by that. To those of you part of that network, both family and friends (and I’m sure you know who you are), I send you my love, and I’m forever grateful for you.

Before things went a bit more than pear-shaped this year, I managed to complete another 100 Day Project starting on 31 January 2021. I had a proper go at sketching every day. And, while I don’t profess to be a master illustrator, even after those 100 days, I created some not so terrible drawings.

The 100 Day Project for the coming year will start on 13 February 2022. I’ve had a few ideas of what I’d like to do, but we’ll see which one I settle upon.

Through my Patreon, I shared writings from my attempts at NaNoWriMo in 2009 and 2016. These are still rough second drafts and are currently only available to patrons.

I shared curated series from my sepulchre work, mushroom photographs, and travel photography.

I started my series of love letters to london, which I’d hoped to complete in 2021, but I will continue into 2022.

This year I took self-portraits for the first time since mid-2018 and have shared some that continue my interior/exterior series or fall into my new wallflowers series. I already have images from the latter to share in the new year.

I won’t bore you with my plant progress this year but suffice to say, my indoor plants fared better than the garden.

And I wrote actual handwritten letters for the first time in decades, inspired (or guilted?) by my friend Phil.

The things I let fall by the wayside this year were reading (beyond news articles of varying lengths) and language studies. Both I want to get back into in 2022.

In May, I unexpectedly found myself confronted by what is believed to be the oldest tree in London. A beautiful yew, she may be 2,000 years old.

She was more impressive up close than from a distance. I’ll share more close-ups of her beautiful contours in the new year, though I shared one previously.

In May, there was also a pleasant day out in Hertford. Exploring the source of the New River and wandering along the River Lea. Though there was also a bull charging me for photographing him!

In October, Scott and I explored the section of the New River (not new, not a river) between Hornsey and Finsbury Park.

At the end of 2020, I wasn’t overly hopeful for much travel this year. I would have settled for a weekend away somewhere within the UK.

Thanks to one of my longest-suffering friends, Phil, I visited Chichester and Bosham (first image in this post),

Itchenor

and Arundel.

And thanks to a cat-sitting gig for Jo and Becky, I was able to visit Minera,

Coedpoeth

and Wrexham.

However, the most unexpected and surprisingly fulfilling element of 2021 for me was becoming a cat-sitter.

Growing up and into my 20s and beyond, I was always a dog person. I couldn’t fathom cats. I would have said honestly at one point that I hated cats. So cat-sitting was not even close to being on my bingo card for 2021.

But really, in retrospect, I think it was more that I didn’t understand cats.

A chance pub quiz with friends led to me becoming a cat-sitter for the first time this year, and it’s something I hope to continue into 2022 and beyond.

There are side bonuses, like exploring new areas of London and beyond and locations for shooting self-portraits. And going “on holiday” but being paid for it.

But I’m not going to lie that the kitteh snuggles are lovely, and winning over an anxious or difficult kitteh brings a particular buzz with it. (Though I would be all good with less claw-to-skin action in demonstrations of affection…)

So, in order of appearance, here are the cool cats I’ve met this year (apologies for the photo quality with some. I hope to get better photos of them in future!)

Shiloh

Susie

Bao

Paczi

Meg

Mog

Sammy

Lily

Poppy

I’m not going to chance my hand predicting what 2022 will hold. But I have credit for travel that will hopefully take me back to Wales and Scotland, so that’s a positive start.

Anything else is a bonus.

I hope your 2022 is better than 2021.

what’s in store for you?

August 12, 2021

I've spent most of today working on setting up the print store. And I'm reminded, once again, of why I haven't done it sooner...

The limitations of shipping price settings where you have framed prints versus unframed prints is just one.

I'm still working on it, but for now, I thought I'd take a break to remind you that you don't have to wait for my online store to go live if you'd like to buy a print!*

I have a selection of self-portraiture and alternate worlds photographs to hand. Some framed as at exhibition, some unframed.

And my work isn't just self-portraiture and graveyards, as you may have noticed. There are plenty of landscapes and images of the minutiae of everyday life to choose from.

Most of my work is available to purchase as prints. If you've seen an image on my blog or social media you can't spy on my website, do feel free to ask.

Found something you fancy? Email me at propaganda@bronwenhyde.com

I can let you know availability, edition details, sizes and prices, plus shipping costs to wherever you are in the world. Open editions start from just £50 plus shipping.

Of course, if you're a patron at 'the perfect 10' tier or above, your 10% print discount applies as long as you remain a patron.

*Now would be a super time for you to buy a print. No one wants me to have to set up an Only Fans account!

upon a country lane

March 2, 2021

^{[I originally posted this image as early access for my Patreon patrons on 24 February 2021].}

bluebell barn

January 23, 2021

In the wee hours of this morning, I was again reminded of the many reasons I love photography. In this case, the random connections it creates between complete strangers and the many and varied memories it can evoke for different people.

norfolk_girl_ came across my digital collage, waiting for godot, when searching for photos of farmhouses on Instagram.

I took this photo of Bluebell Barn on Briscoe Lane, East Briscoe, Baldersdale, as Kyle and I prepared to leave The Old Chapel after staying there and seeing the sights in the area for a week in February 2012.

Though we broke up nearly six years ago and I still haven't finished editing and posting all my photographs from that holiday, I have a soft spot for this area. It was a lovely break away.

norfolk_girl_ recognised it as the holiday home her family visited for many years, and it brought back many memories for her. Coincidentally, their last stay had also been in 2012.

When she commented on my post to tell me and tagged her family members to show them, I promised to share the original photo there later in the day. I said I would check if I had any more photos of the 'barn', but unfortunately, as I suspected, this was the only one.

As promised, I’ve now shared this on Instagram for her.

untitled #73 [grand union canal — paddington arm, kensal green, london, england, 2020]

reflections on an unprecedented year

January 7, 2021

Usually, I edit photos and write my end of year wrap-up blog on New Year’s Eve.

2020 was no different. Except I found myself a bit overwhelmed as I tried to string together my thoughts about the past year and edit photos to post in time for the midnight cut-off.

I actually posted what I wrote just before midnight that night, and it was live on here for about five hours. But after a very brief phone call with Simon, then about five hours of celebrating the coming of the new year virtually with my friend, Sophie, I decided to unpublish it and revisit it with fresh eyes.

The opening of my original post felt like too much of a political rant. And whilst I can often be heard ranting about politics, I decided that’s not what I want this post to be.

Since my wrap-up didn’t make it online in time for the end of the year in the form I’d intended, I ended up taking a little longer to put the post together. I wasn’t planning it to take this long, but I guess that’s what happens when life is a little stressful.

So here it is. I hope you enjoy it :)

 By the beginning of 2020, my fractured ankle was gradually improving, and I could get out and about more.

teleporter [winter lights, cabot square, canary wharf, london, england, 2020]

In January, my friend, Khanisa, and I ventured out into the night to see the Winter Lights at Canary Wharf.

In February and March, Simon introduced me to more English towns and villages.

riverside drive [rickmansworth, hertfordshire, england, 2020]

We visited Rickmansworth.

untitled #41 [holy trinity church, wareside, hertfordshire, england, 2020]

Ware and Wareside.

I also managed to visit Tate Modern for the Dora Maar exhibition with friends from Australia. With heightened caution and hand sanitiser, of course.

Unfortunately, after eight years as a member, I recently had to cancel my membership until I have a steady income again.

angels watch over them [parish church of st john-at-hampstead, hampstead, london, england, 2020]

Simon and I took a wander around Hampstead on 8 March.

As we ate dinner at the King William IV pub after our explorations, we had no idea it would be our last pub meal for precisely four months.

untitled #7323 [camden town, london, england, 2020]

A couple of weeks later, Simon and I took advantage of the London lockdown to experience a drive through an eerily empty City of London and Camden.

Redundant?

In late March, I was made redundant.

I’ll say no more than it was one of the best things to happen to me in 2020, a year that was mostly okay for me, despite the pandemic.

Hardly!

While I may not have brought in a wage during much of 2020, I found other ways to keep myself occupied.

The 100 Day Project started on 7 April and seemed a perfect opportunity to explore something new. 

Namely, cut out and keep. 100 digital collages created using a mix of illustrations and paintings in the public domain, in many instances combined with my own photos. 

The project provided a welcome distraction for me from everything else going on at the time. And — based on the results of my Instagram Top Nine for 2020 — chimed with many of my followers. It also earned me likes from one of my most admired filmmakers, Guy Maddin, which was a bit of a highlight for the year.

The natural world

Along with toilet paper and pasta shortages, and the joys of queuing, 2020 brought me an increased appreciation of nature.

I learned a lot last year by slowing down and observing the world around me.

untitled #133 [monken hadley common, barnet, london, england, 2020]

Wandering through the woods with Simon and my camera.

Redesigning our shared garden with Simon and my neighbour.

Learning about and growing plants in my flat.

I talked a lot to plants. I got excited about new leaves, flowers, growth of any kind. And I squeed when I saw my babies flourishing in new ways. It was kind of embarrassing…

Not pictured: our sunflowers, Anya potatoes, ruby red Swiss chard, leeks, coriander, parsley and thyme, all of which came and went in 2020, and our hyacinths, spider plant, flaming Katy, ivy and avocado, which are all gradually coming along.

Parklife

Though our wanders in 2020 rarely terminated at a pub — as they would have done in previous years — we visited and revisited many parks for our daily permitted exercise.

on the precipice [monken hadley common, barnet, london, england, 2020]

We visited Monken Hadley Common and Hadley Wood multiple times.

untitled #399 [hampstead heath, hampstead, london, england, 2020]

I finally made it Hampstead Heath. Not once, but twice!

 The second visit was part of a socially-distanced meander with Julie and her Simon from my place via Alexandra Park and Palace, part of the Parkland Walk, Hampstead, Highgate Wood and Kentish Town.

untitled #878 [pondwicks meadow, amersham, buckinghamshire, england, 2020]

We popped over to Amersham for a day out on our anniversary, discovering Pondwicks Meadow.

And we made a new friend in The Stumpery at Golders Hill Park.

Not pictured: Finsbury Park, Gillespie Park Ecology Centre, Theydon Bois, Walthamstow Marshes, Walters Close Open Space in Cheshunt, Hampstead Heath Extension and Minchenden Oak Garden.

The Magnificent Seven

When restrictions allowed, Simon and I continued our visits to London’s Magnificent Seven cemeteries.

resting [tower hamlets cemetery park, mile end, london, england, 2020]

We belatedly celebrated my birthday with a visit to Tower Hamlets Cemetery Park in April after finding Kensal Green Cemetery was closed to all but those attending funerals.

untitled #629 [highgate cemetery west, highgate, london, england, 2020]

As I’m a Friend of Highgate Cemetery Trust, we had the chance to be guinea pigs for the new self-guided tours of the west cemetery in July.

While I will always recommend the guided tours there, it was lovely to wander (mostly) at will through the overgrown hillside cemetery.

untitled #252 [kensal green cemetery, kensal green, london, england, 2020]

Fortuitously, in December I happened to see Gasometer Gal’s tweet that Kensal Green Gasworks had been reduced to one gasholder. The penny finally dropped: Kensal Green Cemetery was the one we’d seen set against gasometers featured in episodes of the Channel 4 TV series, Misfits!

So we celebrated an early Christmas Day our way visiting the Kensal Green Cemetery and gasworks. My early Christmas present was two of my obsessions — cemeteries and gasometers — colliding.

Hopefully, this year we'll visit the two I haven't been to before: Brompton Cemetery and West Norwood Cemetery. And maybe we'll revisit some of the others.

Last gas-p 

Which brings me to the loss of more London gasometers in 2020, and the ones I managed to capture last year.

The New Southgate Gasworks disappeared by about mid-2020. I had photographed them previously but missed documenting their dismantling.

The remaining gasholders at Bethnal Green/Haggerston will be incorporated into a new residential development similar to those at Kings Cross. I recently signed a petition to influence how it will be done.

untitled #141 [kensal green gasworks, kensal green, london, england, 2020]

As for Kensal Green Gasworks, one gasometer was removed in 2020. It's unclear if the remaining one will disappear from the skyline or if it will be incorporated into the new development. It seems developers behind Gas Holder Park in Kings Cross may be involved.

 Here's hoping the canals in Kensal Green and Haggerston can preserve a little of their iconic appearance.

Long-distance dedications

I hadn't expected to see my parents again in the flesh this year. So, despite the travel restrictions caused by the pandemic, not much changed in that respect.

However, the extended Victorian lockdown meant Mum and Dad were cut off from the rest of our family for most of the year. And due to temporary restrictions at my Mum's nursing home, Dad was unable to visit her at one stage.

Mum likely didn't notice and has been, thankfully, otherwise unaffected so far. But all of us being so distant from Dad was hard. I'm hoping Australia can continue to maintain tight control on the coronavirus and avoid that happening again.

On the upside, it meant Dad and I had long meandering conversations on both serious and frivolous subjects once or twice a week on Skype most of the year.

The wonderful nursing home staff made it possible to Skype with Mum on her occasional good days.

Instant group messaging has also been a saviour, especially in times of family medical emergencies.

New discoveries I made in 2020:

Being an introvert has its advantages during a pandemic, going in and out of lockdown.
I have some lovely neighbours, and we're actually a pretty strong community in my street and others nearby.
Watching friends and acquaintances get caught up in conspiracy theories is not helpful for my mental health.
There are some tasty no and low alcohol ciders out there. (Though why are they often as or more expensive than full strength ones? And when will cider makers start selling 10 can cases of them rather than individual bottles?)
While I'm definitely still a dog person, maybe cats have a certain charm.

Looking forward to it (whatever it is) 

Though there’s a great deal of uncertainty ahead, I’m still optimistic for 2021. Not like “this will be my best year ever”, just a cautious optimism for now.

I’m not overly hopeful for much travel this year. I’ll settle for a weekend away somewhere within the UK at some stage. We’ll have to see what the latter half of the year brings.

Maybe vaccinations will open the country up faster than we expect. I’m not counting chickens yet though…

I’m hoping Simon and I can make a home together.

And I’m also hoping I can build on the work I’ve done over the past nine months to head closer to self-employment through my photography, writing and other endeavours. Not least due to the ongoing pandemic, I’m keen to be more self-sufficient in terms of my income. 

Patronise me

If you'd like to help me with that there's a smorgasbord of ways:

Patronise me.

Buy my work! Contact me directly for print purchases. I hope to get my store online soon.

Buy my products through RedBubble.

Commission some work: photographs, collages, writing. Let’s chat!

Hire me for some photography (not weddings, sorry!), writing, design and/or digital marketing.

Got something else you think I'd be perfect for? Hit me up!

Thank you to my wonderful patrons, my print customers and those who used my marketing and website expertise in 2020.

I hope this year turns out better for all of us than we might expect and I send you love. x

of highs and lows

December 31, 2019

2019 was a mixed bag for me. It held some of the highest highs, and some of the lowest lows.

At its best, it was a year of exploring, discovery and love. At its worst, it was a year of heartbreak.

There were highs such as seeing one of my self-portraits, ‘where the light plays’, as a main spread in Shots Magazine.

There were lows such as saying goodbye to what remains of my mother for what was likely the last time.

There were myriad outings in and around London with my camera and my intrepid tour guide, Simon, discovering more and more of my beloved city and adopted country.

There was a whole month of me returning the favour for him in Australia, though a tour guide with a fractured ankle is not quite what either of us had banked on. We will have to have a rerun sometime. (And you’ll have to wait for the photos from this visit until the new year).

I finally made my Patreon profile live and added five instalments to my series ‘postcards from another’s life’ (many more personal than I had originally intended), along with publishing other previously unpublished work there early or exclusively for patrons. Thank you to those who have become patrons so far. I promise 2020 will see more activity over there now that I’ve been able to upgrade some of my equipment!

I laughed a lot. I cried even more. I shared moments with my Dad which were heartrending but which have brought us closer together.

I discovered the alien beauty that is Turkish hazelnuts.

I’m sure I could say so much more about 2019, but the past few months have been a bit like wading through molasses, physically and emotionally, and I’m just now surfacing, a little.

So I will leave you with a selection of the many photographs I took this year, and wish you and those you love a brilliant 2020 and a wonderful new decade xx

It was a year of previously unvisited gasometers:

untitled #75 [bromley-by-bow gas holders, bromley-by-bow, london, england, 2019]

untitled #54 [rotherhithe, london, england, 2019]

Of mills and domes:

untitled #80 [three mills island, bromley-by-bow, london, england, 2019]

untitled #14 [the o2, greenwich, london, england, 2019]

Of barriers and of dams:

untitled #33 [wapping, london, england, 2019]

untitled #73 [thames barrier, royal docks, london, england, 2019]

Of plants, animals and organic matter:

untitled #99 [coalhouse fort, east tilbury, essex, england, 2019]

untitled #132 [shoeburyness, essex, england, 2019]

untitled #47 [mersea island, essex, england, 2019]

Of manmade items marooned on the littoral:

untitled #125 [shoeburyness, essex, england, 2019]

untitled #70 [mersea island, essex, england, 2019]

untitled #69 [mersea island, essex, england, 2019]

Of darkness and of light:

untitled #40 [tilbury fort, tilbury, essex, england, 2019]

untitled #70 [tilbury fort, tilbury, essex, england, 2019]

Of filming locations, old and new (relatively speaking):

untitled #106 [binsey walk, thamesmead south, london, england, 2019]

untitled #55 [southmere lake, thamesmead, london, england, 2019]

of death and of resurrection:

untitled #49 [nunhead cemetery, nunhead, london, england, 2019]

untitled #49 [the cathedral and abbey church of saint alban, st albans, hertfordshire, england, 2019]

Of love:

And sometimes, just a waste of time:

untitled #33 [crossness pumping station, abbey wood, london, england, 2019]

untitled #216 [highgate cemetery - west side, highgate, london, england, united kingdom]

movin' on up

December 31, 2018

Here we go again… It’s the time of year, in these last remaining hours of the current one before we turn over into the new one, where I take my annual look back on how quickly yet how slowly this year passed; what I did and didn’t get done; and how many steps forward and/or backward I took.

All in all, 2018 was the best year I’ve had for a while, though it inevitably had its ups and downs, like any other year.

I did manage to improve two things this year: regaining a better work-life balance and posting more to my blog thanks to my 100 Days Project (which is still in progress, so not quite following the 100 consecutive days element).

And I even managed to take some ‘proper’ self-portraits like the ones I described in last year’s wrap-up blog.

Inevitably the most consuming part of my year, though according to my Sleep Cycle stats, the most stress-free and relaxing part of my year (my sleep quality during that period increased to 80% from an average of 59%, and my time in bed increased to almost 7 hours from an average of 5 hours 48 minutes) was visiting the South Island of New Zealand for the first time to be a bridesmaid for my friends Erin and Nick; and returning to visit friends and family in the North Island of New Zealand, as well as Melbourne and Tasmania.

erin & nick’s wedding, photo by grace bolton photography

Apprehensive but excited about being a bridesmaid for the first time, I was lucky Erin and Nick were so organised and managed the whole intercity coordination of the bridal party so well. Apart from looking hilariously wobbly walking down the grass aisle in heels first ahead of the bride, I think I managed to carry out my duties fine and it was wonderful to see two of my friends tie the knot after so many years. It was also a chance to make good friends with the other two lovely bridesmaids, Liz and Kirsty, and get to know Erin and Nick’s families a little.

untitled #26 [rakaia gorge, new zealand, 2018]

Though the schedule and long distances of travel required for the wedding (zipping between Christchurch, Timaru, Hanmer Springs and Windwhistle) didn’t allow for too much sightseeing in some respects, I did see quite a bit of countryside along the way. Enough to know I need to pop back to the South Island sometime for more exploration!

untitled #49 [wellington, new zealand, 2018]

The few days I was able to stop over in Wellington were also a lovely chance to catch up with new and old friends and catch Wellington at its signature blustery best. It was wonderful to fleetingly catch up with Hugh and meet Kenno and Janno over a delicious dinner discussing robots and filling in blanks between cryptic Facebook updates.

Similarly, catching up with Debbie and her family was a nice relaxing interlude after the wedding, full of wine and late night nattering over old times. Waking up to my new, inquisitive friend Monty was also a joyful way to start the day. I seriously considered popping him in my suitcase…

nighthawks [collingwood, victoria, australia, 2018]

Despite moving around so extensively during my life, the place I’ve lived longest so far has been Melbourne at a cumulative count of about 18 years. I’d not been back even for a visit since June 2010 but, suffice to say, if I were to feel homesick for Australia I figured Melbourne would be the place I would feel it.

But sorry, Melbourne, I didn’t. It was lovely to visit old haunts, discover new haunts, and more importantly, reconnect with many friends I hadn’t seen face-to-face in too many years, but I only felt a fond affection, no longing, for the city I spent so many years in. Once more my affection for London as ‘home’ was reinforced.

‘mass’ by ron mueck [ngv triennial, national gallery of victoria, melbourne, victoria, australia, 2018]

Having said that, Melbourne was, unsurprisingly, wall-to-wall with catch-ups, which was wonderful. I squeezed as many people into my time there as I could (and squeezed them, when I could), and managed to fit in a dance at an indie night; a couple of exhibitions including the NGV Triennial; a friend’s gig; and visits to old and new haunts.

untitled #147 [redwood forest, east warburton, victoria, australia, 2018]

Thanks to fellow photographer, Anthony Schroeder, I also managed a day trip out to the redwood forest in East Warburton with two lovely ladies (one heavily pregnant at the time), Jess and Preethi, and a stop-off for a pub lunch with Chris and his now-fiancée, Helen. The day out provided just the right level of calm amidst a frantic sea of brunches, lunches, cheeky pints, dinners and nightcaps.

untitled #212 [burgess cove, tasmania, australia, 2018]

After only a week in Melbourne I popped down to Tasmania to visit with my parents and catch up with my Uncle John and his partner, Verna, who timed their visit to coincide with mine.

My parents had sold their home in Redland Bay, on the outskirts of Brisbane, just as I was finishing my last visit to Australia in mid-January 2013, so it was my first time in their new home and only my second time in Tasmania, in a different part of the island to where I had visited in 2002, shortly after my return to Australia.

untitled #73 [rainforest walk, cradle mountain, tasmania, australia, 2018]

Though lengthy wandering was not on the cards with my Mum’s reduced mobility, my Dad and Uncle ensured I saw quite a lot of the countryside while I was there, and we were lucky to see quite a lot of wildlife.

My camera got quite an extensive workout while I was in New Zealand and Australia and I’m still working through the photos from my trip.

Thank you to everyone who managed to make time to meet up with me in both New Zealand and Australia, whether the odd one-to-one or the cluster of friends descending on a bar, pub or cafe in various parts of Melbourne. Thank you to Erin and Nick for inviting me to be part of their big day, and thank you most of all to my Uncle John for making my visit possible. I may no longer call Australia home, but it and my friends there still hold a special place in my heart.

As if a one-month trip to New Zealand and Australia weren’t enough for one year, I managed to sneak in day trips and weekend trips with friends and/or to visit friends in:

Southend-on-Sea,

untitled #23 [wilverley plain, new forest, england, united kingdom]

the New Forest,

Durdle Door,

untitled #9935 [west pier, brighton, england, united kingdom]

Brighton (times two),

Cambridge,

burgers & dogs [dreamland, margate, kent, england, united kingdom]

Margate for ‘Screamland’ at Dreamland,

untitled #8 [river great ouse, bedford, bedfordshire, england, united kingdom]

and Bedford.

I gladly took my camera along for most of those trips, so have plenty of photos to work through.

This year was not just one of meeting up with old friends, but of making new ones, and I also finally emerged from a bit of a stasis to entertain the idea of ‘a serious relationship’ again.

Enter Simon who has an uncanny sense of the sort of things I love that he can show me in and around London and beyond, including:

‘secret’ nuclear bunker [kelvedon hatch, essex, england, united kingdom]

a ‘secret’ nuclear bunker in Essex;

untitled #20 [parkland walk, london, england, united kingdom]

a parkland walk following an old railway from my neighbourhood to Highgate;

love sweet love [god’s own junkyard, walthamstow village, london, england, united kingdom]

a neon heaven in Walthamstow;

notice [chislehurst caves, chislehurst, london, england, united kingdom]

chalk caves in south London;

untitled #1528 [holly lodge mansions, highgate, london, england, united kingdom]

a 1930s mock Tudor council estate I somehow missed just nearby to Highgate Cemetery (which I became a Friend of earlier in the year); and an endless list of gorgeous pubs.

I’ve also spent far more time in the ‘great outdoors’ this year than previous years.

untitled #3 [trent park, cockfosters, london, england, united kingdom]

Wandering through woods and parks;

untitled #65 [lumiere london, kings cross, london, england, united kingdom]

enjoying the lights at Lumiere London;

untitled #79 [albert road gas works, new barnet, london, england, united kingdom]

and finding or being introduced to new gasometers before they are inevitably removed from the London skyline.

So, here’s to 2018, and here’s hoping 2019 continues the upward trajectory I’ve been on the past couple of years.

Here’s hoping it’s also onward and upward for all of my family, friends and any lovely people reading this. I raise a toast to you all x

Oh, and I also took a load off my shoulders, finally.

#the100dayproject

April 3, 2018

I heard about The 100 Day Project from a wonderful artist friend, Mags Phelan Stones, who I've known for years from the now-defunct Female Self-Portrait Artists' Support Group on Flickr.

Feeling optimistic about what this year has to offer, and wanting something to help drive my creativity, at least initially, I've decided to give it a go.

I can't guarantee I'll finish the project — I'm allowing for the possibility it might not fit into my lifestyle/timetable and/or won't suit my creative needs — or, that if I do finish the project, it will be completed over 100 consecutive days. However, I'm willing to at least commit to potentially completing 100 days of creativity based on the below guidelines, albeit those guidelines being quite ambitious and my intentions possibly a little foolhardy!

The project I've set for myself is based on an idea I had for last year's NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month), the title of which is 'Postcards from another's life: a one woman collaboration'.

The 'rules':

Take a new photograph OR edit a photograph I've not previously edited and published OR re-edit a photograph I've previously edited and published in a completely new way.
Write 750 words inspired by that photograph. The writing can be fiction, prose, autobiographical, stream of conscious, poetry. It may or may not be edited beyond a first draft depending on time constraints, but it needs to be written from scratch on the day of the project.
All photographs will be cropped square if the original was not taken in square format.
Photographs can be black & white or colour. No restrictions on subject matter, the date the photo was taken, or the camera it was taken with. Though for the sake of image quality I'm likely to stick to photographs taken with a dSLR, rather than my iPhone.
Where possible, the photograph and writing are to be published to my Patreon profile on the day of editing and writing.
All posts will be included on my blog here as and when I have time to add them, date-stamped per the date and time they were published to Patreon.

^{Edited in May 2019: Initially the project was being posted to my Instagram account first, but now I'm posting new instalments as early access posts to my Patreon profile. If you want to read new instalments up to a week before everyone else, feel free to become a patron!}

untitled #203 [john webb's windmill, thaxted, essex, england, 2017]

this is 40

December 31, 2017

So, it's been another year since my last blog post. This seems to be becoming a habit. I'd make a bunch of promises about updating more regularly, but let's just see how things go in 2018. As my sales colleagues would say, 'under-promise and over-deliver'. Maybe if I make no promises I can exceed all expectations?

This year has been another step back up and toward the track, but with far too much emphasis on my day job to the detriment of my photography. With recruitment happening currently to split my role, I'm aiming to take back control of my working hours and work-life balance in 2018 so I can focus more on my photography and my own life, and less on the aims and goals of the company I work for.

With so many hours consumed by my day job, it feels like I didn't achieve much with my photography or do much generally this year, but I did take an awful lot of photos with my iPhone, posting 511 photos to Instagram. And despite feeling like I didn't get much editing done, especially in the last few months of the year, I did manage to work through quite a lot of photos from my travels in 2012.

I turned 40 in April, which felt quite surreal. Well... it still feels quite surreal. I'm completely at peace with my age - a stark contrast to 10 years ago when I was on the cusp of 30 and suffering from anxiety and depression, diagnosed with anhedonia - but there's a large part of me that feels about 23, not 40. It's probably not helped by the fact I work in a junior role during the day; I don't own a home, have any kids or a significant other; my finances are a mess; and people regularly mistake me for being late 20s or, at most, 30.

2017 marked the first time in over 12 years that I've not taken any 'proper' self-portraits. You know, the kind that involve my dSLR, potentially a tripod, and more than five minutes of premeditation. While in a way that feels kind of sad and disappointing, in some ways it's been a relief not to be in front of my own lens for a bit. I'm sure 2018 will bring more self-portraiture, but sometimes it's good to look outward, not inward all the time (or maybe it's just another side effect of being a workaholic...)

stills from 'paranoid' [© red productions/itv]

Speaking of self-portraiture, I finally had a chance to catch Paranoid, the television series some of my images were licensed for, thanks to my friend, Aer. The range of images licensed was pretty broad, so I wasn't sure whether I would see my work as wall art in the homes or offices of the characters, or what, if anything, might be used. So I was more than a little amused to find a selection of my self-portraiture appear in the hands of major characters as evidence toward the end of the series!

american gothic in london [royal academy, mayfair, london, england, 2017]

Amongst the many days I spent gallery-hopping with friends this year - seeing more exhibitions than films for once - Phil and I managed to get out and about in May to explore part of London with our pinhole cameras.

My Flickr friend, kegangd, gifted me with one of his homemade pinhole cameras which arrived just before my birthday. The negative size is 6x9, so the lab I took the films to could process the film but not scan them correctly, so Phil will be scanning them for me in the new year so I can finally share them in the proper format. The above is a quick edit of one of the cropped scans from the lab.

sunset over the south bank [london, england, 2017]

This year brought more changes on a personal and professional level: Kyle moved out in May and my current flatmate moved in at the end of June; and our company moved offices in June from London Bridge to a co-working office right by St Dunstan in the East church garden.

With Hornsey Gas Holder No. 3 being dismantled in late February and invisible above ground by the end of March, my attention was drawn even closer to home, with my local kit of pigeons drawing my eye and my iPhone lens throughout the year.

untitled #113 [kidstones, leyburn, yorkshire, england, 2017]

This year included a fleeting visit to Manchester for work, but the highlight of my travels was spending a week travelling up and down the country with Mum and Dad during their visit in June and July. We visited some places I'd been to before, and a number of places I hadn't.

I was pleased to have my parents visit me and to spend the time with them during their stay, though it was a stark reminder that while I don't feel 40, time is marching on. It was quickly evident my Dad's itinerary was a little over ambitious for them in the time allotted, but we managed to see quite a lot and cover a lot of ground even then.

I'm looking forward to being able to spend time with Mum and Dad again in 2018 on their home turf. I'll finally have the chance to visit them at their home in Tasmania in March, where they moved just after my last visit to Australia in December 2012/January 2013.

The visit will also give me the chance to catch up with my Uncle John and his partner for the first time since 2013; and visit friends and family in Melbourne - many I've not seen 'in the flesh' since leaving Melbourne in September 2009.

Conveniently, a number of my friends from Brisbane have moved south, so I feel less guilty restricting my time in Australia to just Melbourne and Tasmania.

I'm also looking forward to being a bridesmaid for the first time! It's more than a little daunting and a little bit of a logistical nightmare, but I'll be one of three bridesmaids for Erin and Nick's wedding near Christchurch, New Zealand, in March. It will be wonderful to see them both so many years after they left London and to be there for their special day. It'll also give me a chance to pop into Wellington to see some old and new friends.

While this year feels like it passed in a heartbeat, it has mostly been a good one, spent with good friends, and I'm hopeful for 2018. I just need to re-channel the energy and commitment I had this year for my day job toward my photography.

However you're spending the turn of this year into the next, I hope 2018 holds good things for you.

emerging from darkness

December 31, 2016

Another year has passed. And what have we learned?

2016 was a better year for me personally than 2015 (that wouldn't have been hard), but it didn't always feel like a good year for the world in general.

I wrote in my last post (I know, a year between posts is ridiculous... sorry!) that 2015 was my year of living uncertainly. So many things were hanging in the balance during 2015, and the general feel of the year was quite negative. This year had a more positive feel, though it still felt a little like treading water at times.

Moving forward felt slow last year, as so many moving parts were dependent upon each other. This year brought various chapters to a close.

In May, I moved for the third time in three years. For ten months after our break-up, Kyle and I had remained roommates. When we moved, I finally had my own space again, albeit with Kyle now filling the role of housemate. Many friends expressed concerns about this decision. For now it is working, as we (mostly) know about and can deal with each others’ quirks, and for the most part we live completely separate lives. Sometimes it almost feels like living alone, which is a good thing for me.

In August I was effectively made redundant from my day job, though that specific word was never used. The decision was quite out of the blue but I was happy enough to move on as I felt ready for the next opportunity. During my last week, The Sundays’ lyrics, ‘it’s the little souvenir of a terrible year’, were my recurring earworm. It felt like the last remnants of 2015 falling away. Like shedding the last layers of the chrysalis so I could finally see my way clear. It felt like closure.

In the meantime, my dSLR didn’t get a heavy workout in 2016, but there were ample opportunities for me to point it at myself and at other subjects.

untitled #202 [media city uk, salford quays, greater manchester, england, 2016]

In April I finally had the chance to catch up with Aer after close to ten years, visiting her in Manchester. It didn’t turn out to be the best timing for her due to unexpected work and family complications, but we had a good catch-up.

Aer encouraged me to shoot in her three-storey house while she went off to work. This included the cold, creepy basement where I took the self-portrait above. I think it was the only ‘proper’ self-portrait shoot I did during 2016.

I think it was my first visit to Manchester since 2000. My stay also gave me a chance to revisit the city, wandering its streets and the John Rylands Library with my camera.

untitled #83 [dungeness, kent, england, 2016]

In June I finally made good on a long-postponed trip to Kent and East Sussex with Phil Ivens, with Kyle tagging along. At least once a year Phil stays at a B&B in East Sussex, using that as a base to visit Dungeness and other places in the area. For at least five summers I had been hoping to visit, but timing and money always seemed to be an issue.

untitled #165 [prospect cottage, dungeness, kent, england, 2016]

This year I committed to the break. I enjoyed tramping over the shingle to explore the derelict boats and fishermen’s shacks, despite the horrendous sunburn I got in the process. It was also nice to finally visit Derek Jarman’s Prospect Cottage. The only real dampener to the holiday was finding out the results of the Brexit referendum on our second last day.

untitled #116 [margate beach, margate, kent, england, 2016]

Other travels during the year included:

a day trip to Camberley to visit my friend, Floriana, though I didn’t take any photos;
a day trip to Oxford with Stuart;
an overnight visit to Birmingham for a night out with the girls, though I only took photos with my iPhone; and
a day trip to Margate, Botany Bay and Broadstairs in Kent with Chris and Paulina.

I posted various iPhone photos from the day trips to Oxford and Kent, and my weeks in Manchester and East Sussex and Kent, to my Instagram account. I hope to post more photos from those travels here later this year. Thank you to all those who made my travels possible and wandered with me this year.

When not traipsing around the country, I made a point of capturing familiar haunts and new locales in this city I love, even if only with my iPhone. You can find many of these images on my Instagram account as well.

This year I continued my collaboration, weaving words into light, with the ever-patient Sarah Mercer. We only managed two pairings in 2016, but hopefully 2017 will bring more.

I also licensed a selection of my images to a television series that ran a couple of months ago on ITV. I'm not sure how many images, if any, actually made it onto the screen as set dressing. I'll let you know if they did once I've had a chance to watch the series!

In October my Mum had a health scare and it was hard to be so far away from family during that time. Thankfully open-heart surgery seems to have resolved the issue. I’m looking forward to catching up with her and Dad in June/July 2017 when they visit the UK and Ireland.

untitled #5 [hornsey gas holders, hornsey, london, england, 2016]

Unfortunately it was curtains for my favourite neighbourhood gasometer, Hornsey Gas Holder No. 1, which was finally dismantled in August. Above-ground work started in earnest as I was finishing up at my job, so I was able to capture workers dismantling it section by section. Hornsey Gas Holder No. 3 appears to have survived 2016, but I don’t believe it will still be in place by this time next year. I’ve since redirected my obsession toward other gasometers around town. Most recently those at Gas Holder Park along the Regent Canal in King’s Cross; and the listed gas holders by The Oval cricket ground in Kennington.

Other lowlights of the year included:

regaining the rest of the weight I’d lost in 2010-2012 plus some;
having far less alcohol-free days than I’d intended; and
watching BBC coverage of the US presidential election into the wee hours of the morning.

At least I can reverse the first, and improve on the second in 2017. Unfortunately there isn’t much I can do to change the third. I’m more than a little trepidatious about how 2017 will unfold due to the outcome of that election and the Brexit referendum.

But there were quite a few highlights.

For instance, I love my new home. My blue-walled bedroom is my sanctuary. It has a quaint white mantelpiece, space for a king size bed and my workstation, and more than enough room to swing a cat (if you’re into that sort of thing). There's a proper lounge room with comfy couches and Netflix, and my prints hanging on the walls. I’m also more than a little pleased with the blue-tiled bathroom. No doubt others would call it kitsch, but I love it. Here’s hoping this stays my home for a few years.

I wrote more this year. I got into the habit of writing 750 words most days in the latter part of the year, albeit usually journal-type prose as a form of mental clearing. It's a habit I need to get back into from tomorrow. I also managed to write over 12,000 words for NaNoWriMo. Though I didn’t complete the 50,000 word challenge in November, I will come back to my novel soon.

I visited a number of museums and galleries, and went to see quite a few films at the cinema.

Friends have been good to me again this year, even though I’m notorious for hiding away in my ‘bubble’, valuing my alone time.

So, all in all, 2016 didn’t completely suck for me, though it wasn’t my best year on record.

There were plenty of sad things happening in the world around me. This includes the deaths of musicians, writers and actors I’d grown up with and enjoyed the work of. This year felt particularly bad on that score, as many have pointed out. But I guess I have to brace myself for the possibility every coming year will strike a blow as hard as this one. It's just a fact that many of my favourites are getting to that age.

Speaking of age, 2017 marks another milestone birthday for me, which feels more than a little surreal. I had a brief glimmer of hope that I might visit Australia for a few weeks in April to mark the occasion. Unfortunately it’s looking unlikely given my current finances. I’m hoping to apply for British citizenship sometime in the coming year. I will also need to buy a new computer soon as, to quote Apple support, my laptop is ‘vintage’ now. It's definitely showing its age. So it’s looking like Melbourne and Tasmania will have to wait until 2018.

2017 is also a sort of anniversary year for me. It will mark ten years in April since I started my 365 days project. And ten years in August since my debut solo exhibition, alternate worlds.

In some ways I feel I’ve gone backward with my photography since then, but sometimes other things have to come first. My intention for 2017 is to regain the focus and energy I had in 2007 and 2008. To get back to the things I love about photography.

I’m feeling positive about 2017. It feels like a reawakening, and well past time to get back in the saddle. My long-time new year’s resolution comes back around: make this year count.

If you’re reading this, I hope your 2017 is all you hope for, and thanks for stopping by.

^{now playing: sia - bird set free}

untitled #131 [the national gallery, trafalgar square, london, england, 2011]

are you trying to seduce me...?

November 8, 2012

I saw a billboard for the Seduced by Art: Photography Past and Present exhibition at the National Gallery in London in the Tube the other day, and thought 'Ooh, that would be good!', and mentally earmarked it for suggestion to a friend to catch up to see this weekend, as I've had to rain-check twice on catching up with him.

I went to look up details just now, and though I will still probably check it out, it irked me no end that:

a) It is the National Gallery's first major exhibition of photography. Camera photography is not a new art. The process has existed for almost 200 years in some form. Why has it taken this long for the National Gallery to recognise it as art?

b) By 'recognise' I use the term loosely. The description of the exhibition states: It takes a provocative look at how photographers use fine art traditions, including Old Master painting, to explore and justify the possibilities of their art. Le sigh. Photographers still have to 'justify' the 'possibilities' of their art? I'm surprised the word 'art' in this context isn't within quotation marks to clearly indicate the National Gallery's view that photography's claim to being art is a spurious one, at best.

c) The National Gallery's first major exhibition of photography is actually not an exhibition of photography. It is an exhibition of photography and painting. Drawing attention to one particular and rich strand of photography's history - that of the influence and inspiration of historical painting. From that description, I would assume the exhibition indicates photography is only valid as an art form in its relation to painting, and will be viewed as such, not as a standalone art form in its own right.

d) The opening gambit for the exhibition is View Old Master painting through a new lens with the National Gallery's first major exhibition of photography. Even in the blurb, photography takes a poor second place.

I haven't even been to the exhibition and I'm already riled up about it. I hope it isn't as patronising and insulting to photographic artists as it sounds. Arguably the contemporary photographers it mentions including are not my preference, but to indicate showing their work is only valid in the context of showing how they have been influenced by painters from times past (and not even contemporary painters) feels like a complete negation of their work, to me.

I'm not arguing that art from one time or one medium doesn't influence art that follows or art in a newer medium. I would be naive to disregard that aspect. But surely if you're going to stage the first major exhibition of an art form, you would concentrate on that art form, not on how it references / is derivative of another form of art / art medium?

^{now playing: george michael - freedom! '90}