he died of a broken arm

^{[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 1 October 2024].}

While reviewing photos to edit and share with you from my wander through the Bishop's Stortford Old Cemetery while sitting Betsy and Dudley a month ago, a new writing project idea struck.

Inspired by a combination of some of the inscriptions in the cemetery, personal memories and a conversation with a friend this evening about death. Specifically, euthanasia.

The words gently edging towards my fingertips aren't all about death, let alone euthanasia.

The ideas gently swirling aren't perhaps as melancholy as what I've written above may suggest (and how can you write about death without writing about life?)

But I'm probably feeling a bit too raw and tired (emotionally and physically) to pour those thoughts out in the wee hours of this particular morning.

So, instead, here's a photo I took of a grave I found paired with an irreverent title to lighten the mood.

Unrelated (maybe): have you heard the new single from The Cure, Alone?

I've listened to it a lot since it came out, but I only just properly listened while watching the lyric video (as I went to find the link for you) and took in the words and the visuals they've chosen, and I teared up for so many reasons.

And then the comments.

glasgow eyes

^{[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 10 April 2024].}

For my final* trip courtesy of Avanti West Coast (AWC), I knew that, without a doubt, I wanted to return to Scotland. Because a) I wanted to return to Scotland after 13 years and b) I intended to get as much bang for my buck as possible with my complimentary tickets (because, of course).

I've visited Edinburgh three times, off the top of my head (I'm not counting passing through on my way to Arbroath in 2011). I attended the various festivals** in August 2000 and 2001 and returned to visit friends and revisit the festivals in August 2011.

However, I hadn't previously been to Glasgow.

Well, technically, I had. Dad's journal from my folks' visit to the UK in 2001 states, "Continued north on A737 through Dalry, Beith, and Johnstone on the M8 which is elevated for most of its way through Glasgow providing a good view over the city". That was late April, 23 years ago.

View fullsize

untitled #209 [merchants house, glasgow, scotland, 2024]

At least one friend had told me I should visit the city, and they rated it above Edinburgh. Admittedly, that was back when said friend and I regularly frequented gigs and nightclubs, but I was still keen to visit Edinburgh's "ugly sister"***.

A different friend was surprised I chose Glasgow. He warned me that, when visiting, he found it was "kinda just a place to live"; not like Edinburgh, which he'd expected. And, in some ways, it is. It's far less "pretty" and touristy than Edinburgh, but it did not disappoint.

The rain was not ideal, but if you've been to Edinburgh in festival season, as I did three years (two in a row, both camping just south of the city), you know that even in the Summertime, Edinburgh has its fair share of the wet stuff too.

The Glasgow Necropolis alone was worth the 4.5 to 5-hour train journey each way (even with the 20-minute delay travelling up and the 50-minute delay returning). The inclement weather and strong gusts of wind the first day I visited drove me away before I'd finished my explorations, so I wandered the cemetery for two consecutive afternoons and covered most of its grounds.

I spent the remainder of my first full afternoon absorbing art to escape the rain. I aimed for the Gallery of Modern Art and perused their exhibitions, but they weren't my style. On the way there, I stumbled across Castle Fine Art and the works of Bob Dylan, Billy Connolly and Johnny Depp, among other artists with less celebrity.

A friend I made while completing my residency at Hospitalfield in Arbroath in April/May 2011, John Fairfield, popped over from Dundee for a chinwag, bringing the sunshine with him. I was glad to have thought to message him, as we chatted as though we last met up 13 days - not 13 years - ago.

I captured Glasgow with blue skies while waiting for him to arrive, but the clouds had drawn in again when I returned to the Necropolis. All my photographs from this trip have a blue cast due to "Winter's dull light" (despite now being Spring). I've tried to correct it in these photographs of the Merchants House, but the results are noticeably variable between the three. I hope you'll forgive me.

On my final day, knowing the rain would be even worse than on previous days, I had thought to visit Kelvingrove Art Gallery and Museum, but I wasn't really in the right mood for it. And I felt it would be remiss not to even glimpse the River Clyde during my time in the city. So, I ventured out again with my camera and held my own with the rain until I could no longer. At which point, I popped into the oldest pub in Glasgow, The Scotia, for a cheeky pint before retiring to my accommodation.

As with Llandudno and Delamere, I took over 4GB of photographs and left inspired and pleased with my stay but aware I only scratched the city's surface.

View fullsize

untitled #205 [merchants house, glasgow, scotland, 2024]

When I booked my trip in mid-January, I had to work around pet-sitting bookings and colleagues' annual leave. I was restricted to booking tickets released by AWC before the date my vouchers expired. Consequently, I'd booked from 2-5 April, which was literally the last possible dates available and meant I hadn't booked for the weekend, as I probably would have if they'd been available.

While others may have felt the current round of train strikes highly inconvenient, they worked in my favour. ASLEF strikes affected all AWC services on Friday, 5 April, when I was due to return to London, so I transferred my booking to a similar service the next day, allowing me an additional day in the city. It did cost me an extra £128 in accommodation for the night. But I considered it money well-spent as I kept my subsistence costs down for each of my three trips and took advantage of free accommodation in exchange for sitting Peter, Mercury and Bowie while exploring Delamere.

I enjoyed my solo travel on all three occasions, and while I occasionally thought, "X would love this", I rarely wished I were travelling with others. I didn't have to stress about what my body was doing because someone else wanted to get an early start. I didn't have to spend excess money on food and drink eating out (I did order in/get room service (at no additional cost) on two occasions - once in Llandudno, once in Glasgow). And, despite my initial nerves about taking my camera out while wandering solo in Glasgow, I felt at home quite quickly on my first full day, and that concern passed.

As much as I loved my travels, I'm happy to be home again for a little while (albeit relatively briefly!) And not to have any pet-sittings until next week.

But I'll be back pet-sitting Francois on Tuesday and Thursday. I'll be in Bromley, sitting my regulars, for at least two nights late in the month. And then off up to Liverpool for work and a day of TOIL exploring that city. Then, a busy month of pet-sitting in May.

No rest for the wicked, eh?

^{*As mentioned in my previous post about my free journeys, I booked this one second, but chronologically, it was my final free first-class trip.
**The Edinburgh International Film Festival took place in August 2000 and 2001. They moved it to June in 2008.
***My words, I don't know that anyone else refers to Glasgow that way. I say it fondly without malice.}

looking up, going down

^{[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 9 January 2024].}

View fullsize

hotel la tour

View fullsize

untitled #22 [hotel la tour, milton keynes, buckinghamshire, england, 2024]

View fullsize

untitled #24 [hotel la tour, milton keynes, buckinghamshire, england, 2024]

crucifixion

^{[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 7 April 2023].}

On a rainy day in late September 2021, I was returning from a few days away in West Sussex with my friend and fellow photographer, Phil.

That day, I was scheduled to return to finish my first cat-sitting with the kittehs I'm currently sitting.

Shiloh is nestled in my lap as I type this, despite my semi-regularly lifting her off my lap to go to the fridge or the bathroom during the past few hours of photo editing. When I do that, she gives me a Marge Simpson-like sound of disapproval.

View fullsize

untitled #148 [st nicholas’ church, arundel, west sussex, england, 2021]

I had an off-peak return ticket to London from Chichester, which meant I could take any train on any permitted route to get back to London within a month of the original booking.

Arundel was on the route back, so we drove there and wandered through the drizzle. Visiting a bookstore. Visiting Arundel Cathedral and the nearby St Nicholas' Church and its churchyard. And having food in a local cafe before Phil dropped me at the station for the next train.

Coincidentally, the train I had planned to be on was cancelled. But I digress.

View fullsize

untitled #150 [st nicholas’ church, arundel, west sussex, england, 2021]

In the churchyard of St Nicholas' Church, we experienced drizzle, rain, the beautiful after-rain sunlight and the saturated hues post-rain brings to stonemasonry, plant life and... well, everything.

View fullsize

untitled #145 [st nicholas’ church, arundel, west sussex, england, 2021]

In the churchyard, we also found this elaborate crucifixion scene.

View fullsize

untitled #152 [st nicholas’ church, arundel, west sussex, england, 2021]

At the time, I presumed it was a monument for someone with a lot of money. Perhaps with a name in the local community.

But, in retrospect, I presume it was installed by the church. Though I can't find anything online to confirm or deny that.

View fullsize

untitled #146 [st nicholas’ church, arundel, west sussex, england, 2021]

Since I took these photos, I've been keen to share them, but I knew I had to share them as a series, not as individual photographs. And, obviously, Easter is a timely point to share them.

View fullsize

untitled #151 [st nicholas’ church, arundel, west sussex, england, 2021]

I didn't capture a long shot showing all the participants in this act of mourning together. But, from the individual photographs and the photographs of Christ and the two women, I'm sure you get a sense of the scene.

View fullsize

untitled #147 [st nicholas’ church, arundel, west sussex, england, 2021]

I presume (with my limited atheist knowledge) the two women closest to Christ are his mother, Mary, and Mary Magdalene. A quick Google search tells me the man is unlikely to have been Christ's father, Joseph.

View fullsize

untitled #149 [st nicholas’ church, arundel, west sussex, england, 2021]

Earlier today, I tried calibrating the monitor I'm working on, but I'm unsure how successful I've been. Hopefully, successful enough that I don't have to redo the edits on these photographs over the coming days.

Happy Easter to those who celebrate it.

two heads are better than one

^{[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 20 December 2022].}

View fullsize

untitled #156 [cathedral church of our lady and st philip howard, arundel, west sussex, england, 2021]

a little christmas flare

^{[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 23 December 2022].}

enwreathed

^{[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 5 December 2022].}

It's that time of year again.

I would usually have started sharing these on 1 December. But life has been stressful lately, with slow and calming kitteh punctuations which I've latched onto to take much-needed mental, emotional and physical breaks.

I'm incredibly behind on everything.

I hope to catch up this month, but apologies in advance if I fall behind again.

god is love

^{[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 25 September 2022].}

ross fountain

^{[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 3 July 2022].}

Apologies for the radio silence the past week.

I'm playing catch-up after a busy week of work, meeting up with old friends and meeting new people, and finding out more about some potential work.

View fullsize

edinburgh, my arse! [princes street gardens, edinburgh, scotland, 2011]

My temporary employment is dropping down to 21 hours this week. I'm both pleased and nervous about it.

I'm pleased to have more time to do creative things for myself (and you!), but obviously, the drop in income is less welcome. The new work may fill that void but not immediately. We'll see.

View fullsize

untitled #142 [princes street gardens, edinburgh, scotland, 2011]

Dad and I also managed to have one of our lengthy Skype calls this past week, and I've been wrangling with some health issues.

View fullsize

untitled #138 [princes street gardens, edinburgh, scotland, 2011]

Last night and in the wee hours of this morning, I finally edited my photographs of Ross Fountain in the West Princes Street Gardens, Edinburgh. I took these during my last visit in August 2011.

Since it was restored in 2018, it looks different to when I captured it.

View fullsize

untitled #141 [princes street gardens, edinburgh, scotland, 2011]

I hope to return to Edinburgh sometime in the next few months. I just need to arrange some reasonably priced accommodation or a cat-sitting gig there :)

full of goodness

^{[I originally posted this image as early access for my Patreon patrons on 19 June 2022].}

The inscription on the headstone of this grave reads Eenvoudig en oprecht vol goedheid was uw leven, uw edel hart heeft ons zoveel gegeven.

According to Google Translate, it means Your life was simple and sincere, full of goodness, your noble heart has given us so much.

The other photograph I took of this grave showed the other two items holding more cobweb hens and chicks - or sempervivum - and the inscription, but it wasn't sharp and worthy of sharing. However, I decided to take the title for this image from the inscription.

I took this after the rain in the churchyard of the Church of Our Lady of the Assumption in Wulveringem.

The church is opposite Kasteel Beauvoorde. We visited the castle (it was the reason we were in the town), but I've yet to edit most of the photos from there. Another task on my to-do list...

yer takin’ the pis

^{[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 16 June 2022].}

The Manneken Pis, of course...

View fullsize

chocolate, chocolate, beer, pissing, pis, number two [manneken pis, brussels, belgium, europe, 2014]

Congratulations to whoever managed to get that Space Invaders paste-up there. Apparently, it's been there since around March 2012. I took these photos in September 2014, and the paste-up looked relatively new.

View fullsize

pis-ing about [manneken pis, brussels, belgium, europe, 2014]

I don't know the symbolism of this particular costume, but apparently, he has many costume changes.

outcasts always mourn

^{[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 30 May 2022].}

View fullsize

untitled #200

pietà

^{[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 8 March 2022].}

reflecting upon a subject deer to my heart

^{[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 3 March 2022].}

keeping my hand above water

^{[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 22 February 2022].}

I looked online, but I can't find which artist created this sculpture I photographed at the Memorial Museum Passchendaele 1917 in Zonnebeke in 2014.

I will look again, but if you know/can point me in the right direction, I'll be happy to credit them.

the only way is up

^{[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 30 January 2022].}

rudolph the red-nosed reindeer

^{[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 3 December 2021].}

monday mourning

^{[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 6 September 2021].}

Last week was another rollercoaster of emotions, for better or worse.

A phantom anniversary. Remarked upon but left uncelebrated.

The fire under emotions briefly rekindled. Absentmindedly stirred and warmed then left forgotten upon the cooling stove once more.

A meeting related to the new assignment I mentioned last week inspired me, excited me and made me at least a little jealous. But at least that jealousy will be assuaged by the opportunity to live and work in a space for a few weeks that I see as hugely inspiring.

Maybe this experience will lead to other similar opportunities. Let's see...

And then, on Friday evening, it seems I found a lovely new flatmate (subject to referencing). All going to plan, she'll move in at the beginning of October.

Between emotional and physical upheavals, September will potentially be looked back upon (and for now, looked forward to) as one of impermanence.

But, mostly, I hope, in a good way.

076 skull

Day seventy-six of The 100 Day Project for 2021.

This possibly takes the cake for the worst sketch of the project so far.

If not, it's up there with the tuxedo cat (her name's Susie, by the way!), aeroplane and beetle and possibly some others.

Which is a pity as it seemed to start off so well. Oh well... I knew I could never match Ron Mueck's skill anyway.

I was lucky to be in Melbourne for the 2018 National Gallery of Victoria Triennial. I was able to see the brilliant work of Ron Mueck, Yayoi Kusama and many other artists in the flesh. And catch up with fellow photographer and longtime friend Chris Zissiadis.

The triennial took place this year, so I've missed that. But maybe I'll be back in Australia in time for the next one in 2024.

The original sketch was drawn with a 4H pencil, then overdrawn and shaded with an HB pencil.

View fullsize

042 the arch

Day forty-two of The 100 Day Project for 2021.

Frankly, yesterday felt shite.

Today is not feeling much better so far because I'm still awake from yesterday.

What I'd do right now for just one week without some drama, some stress, some misunderstanding, and just an "easy ride". One week in which I felt like the cake in my hands won't explode in my face at any minute.

Yesterday I chose to sketch Henry Moore's The Arch from a photo I took on a walk with my friend, Phil, in 2018. Just because it seemed straightforward-ish, and it was. Thankfully.

Apart from knowing it stands in Kensington Gardens because I photographed it there in 2018, I didn't really know much about it until I Googled it just now.

As often happens for me, the choice was at least somewhat synchronistic.

Moore commented:

One of the things I would like to think my sculpture has is a force, is a strength, is a life, a vitality from inside it, so that you have the sense that the form is pressing from inside trying to burst or trying to give off the strength from inside itself...

This quote fits how I think about myself and many other artists I know. A force. A  strength. A vitality coming from inside and pressing, fit to burst.

So when that vitality and strength feels like it's being held down, there's a struggle. There's a disconnect. I do not feel myself.

I've had to compartmentalise so much of myself over the decades. Through work, relationships, family, friends, social media. That I now actively rebel against that and struggle with being asked to do it, even if I understand the reasons and, ultimately, respect requests to do so.

Henry Moore goes on to say:

This is, perhaps, what makes me interested in bones as much as in flesh because the bone is the inner structure of all living form.

This compartmentalisation feels like chipping away at bones. Breaking and weakening my foundations. Foundations that take time to repair. To strengthen. So I will resist. Even if, ultimately, I break.

I sketched the sculpture in 4H then went over the outline with an HB pencil.

View fullsize