[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 19 October 2024].
A Lathyrus odoratus plant in one of my client's gardens.
dog daisy afternoon
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 28 September 2024].
I promise you, I've been taking more photos than you can poke a stick at.
However, I haven't had a chance to edit anything for weeks, so I'm sharing this photograph from the same client's garden I shared my last two from, edited about 20 days ago.
As I highlighted in a previous post, I had a weekend with my regulars from 6-10 September.
I had a delightful three-night stay (and lots of cheese with ash and flowers!) (that doesn't sound so appetising when I type it out) from 12-15 September on the Isle of Portland in Dorset with my fellow photographer and friend, Phil.
And I spent the better part of last week playing tour guide to Dad and Cheryl while they were in London.
I can't complain about any of it.
That's not to say - for reasons I won't go into here and now - that it's all been smooth sailing and that I'm not physically, emotionally and mentally exhausted. I am.
Between Dad and Cheryl's continuing travels, trying to find a new flatmate and three sittings in October, I don't think my stress levels will drop much.
Despite that, I hope to share photos that aren't flowers with you from my recent travels very soon, some other creative outputs, and maybe even catch up on some sleep.
We'll see.
I hope you're all staying well, hugging those you love and doing what you love as much as possible.
These beauties are Leucanthemum vulgare, also known as ox-eye daisy, dog daisy and marguerite.
As with many of the flowers I've been drawn to photograph, dog daisies are deemed an invasive species in many places, including my native country.
However, ox-eye daisies are widely recognised as the national flower in Denmark, and apparently, "the unopened flower buds can be marinated and used in a similar way to capers". Mmm... capers.
Cows don't fancy eating them, though. And those that do "produce milk with an undesirable flavour".
used for garlands
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 7 September 2024].
Some Lychnis coronaria or Silene coronaria, also known as rose campion, photographed in summer in one of my pet-sitting client's gardens.
According to Wikipedia, 'The Latin coronaria means "used for garlands"'.
crocosmia
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 27 August 2024].
It's been a hectic couple of months.
I've barely been home since the afternoon of Thursday, 4 July.
I pulled an all-nighter with a friend of over 24 years and a friend of fewer than 12 hours to watch the Tories finally thrown out of government after 14 years.
The following day, I went to sit my regulars in Bromley.
On the afternoon of 9 July, I went home for a night, with some back and forth and final prep for a sitting with new clients, Crikey (Cockapoo), Lottie (Staffy Shitzu cross), Dexter (tuxedo cat), Sammy (tabby cat) and Rebecca (fish) starting the following afternoon.
They were a delight, as was Julia's garden, where I photographed this crocosmia.
I managed to give myself food poisoning from eating black beans too long after opening, which wiped me out for a good nine hours or so the night before the sitting ended. I haven't had stomach cramps that bad since I was a tween, and I hope I never do again.
I had two nights at home before spending about a week and a half with my arch nemesis, Mia (tabby cat), in Crofton Park. She's mellowed somewhat with age (she's three now), but she's still very standoffish and swipey with everyone except her cat-mother.
I finally managed to ogle and photograph the exterior of houses at Segal Close and Walters Way, though I'm sorry to find that homes in Walters Way will be open this year as part of Open House London on a day I'm not in London.
I had another couple of nights at home before sitting my favourite, very good boy, Frank (Cockapoo), for about a week and a half.
Whilst sitting him, I managed to completely miss a step with my foot between the bedroom and bathroom and take two steps simultaneously with my lower left back, just above my hip, and my left shoulder.
Thankfully, applying ice and going back to bed for a couple of hours with Frank as my nursemaid, followed by a dose of ibuprofen, meant I minimised the bruising, and we could still go out for our morning walk.
The next day was less successful, as I woke with a sore neck, bruised shoulder and a dull headache and couldn't take Frank out. We did manage a sedate afternoon walk once the painkillers had taken the edge off and allowed me to move my left arm more freely.
The following day - a previously planned day of annual leave - my injuries had improved, and I could take Frank with me to meet Scott at the Railway Fields Nature Reserve by Harringay Green Lanes Overground Station as planned.
Frank was ecstatic to have a short bus journey, make a new friend, explore a new green space (albeit on a lead), take a short train journey, and spend a little time at the Great Northern Railway Tavern whilst Scott and I had a couple of pints and a long natter, some of which about the Welsh language I've been learning.
I went straight from sitting Frank to my regulars plus one.
The new addition, a hamster called Karl-Heinz (Charlie, for short), is very cute and amicable but keen on chewing at the bars of his cage. As he's nocturnal (like me), and his cage is quite close to where I sit to work and do creative things while I sit my regulars, I found this quite stressful, but his hamster-mother is pursuing avenues to make him more comfortable in his home (or rather, mansion).
I had another night at home before heading up to Bishop's Stortford, where I am now, to sit Betsy (Cockapoo) and Dudley (Maltipoo). Both are very good-natured and sweet puppers, but Dudley was a lockdown pup and has related issues, which means he's very reactive to other dogs and...well, everything.
But we've managed two weeks together and have another to go, and I love the snuggles we have, the fact they love sleep as much as I do (when I finally do go to bed), and their little quirks (just maybe with less barking ;) ).
My friend, Khanisa, also enjoyed meeting them, and we managed an enjoyable in-person catch-up on Saturday despite the persistent rain. I had a positive virtual catch-up with Dad in the wee hours yesterday morning and a good telephone catch-up with Phil yesterday evening.
This afternoon, on our last Bank Holiday before Christmas and after almost two weeks in the town, I managed to get out and about with my camera for a photo walk from where I'm sitting the pups, down along the town's edge to Castle Park (the remains of Waytemore Castle), along the Stort Navigation (the canalised section of the River Stort that runs through town), then back through town via the supermarket.
I'll share at least one photo from my walk with you in the next couple of days; all going to plan.
I head home next Tuesday. I have three nights at home before I head down to stay with my regulars.
Then, I'll have two nights at home before heading to the Isle of Portland in Dorset for a long weekend of photography with Phil. We've found a lovely Airbnb on the island to use as a base, and it promises to be a great place to explore with our cameras.
Dad and Cheryl arrive the following week, so I'll be playing tour guide with them and sightseeing around London.
I have a week of 'downtime' (or at least time without sittings or visitors) at the end of September, then three sittings in October before things quiet down a bit more in the lead-up to Christmas.
In amongst all that, I have to do a thorough clean of my flat (with my current flatmate's help), try to downsize my stuff (in progress and tougher than it seems), find a new flatmate, and try to catch up on photo editing and other creative outputs (I had hoped the bank holiday weekend would have helped with the latter, but I had to prioritise cleaning dog puke out of bedding and some other bits yesterday).
On the positive side, the first Friday I was with Frank, a neighbour offered an early 2015 Macbook Air for free to anyone who might want it and could reinstall the OS to make use of it. I saw the post immediately after shared and nabbed it for myself.
It's a little slow, can't run the latest versions of everything, can't run InDesign, and it's only a 13" model. But it can run most things to the level I need when away, and most importantly, it can connect with my primary external drive, so it's been perfect for three weeks away from home where it's completely impractical (specifically, due to expense) to bring my iMac.
Hopefully, it'll serve my purpose for six to twelve months. And I think it's demonstrated to me so far that - as long as I'm just looking for a portable machine, not a replacement for my iMac - a MacBook Air (vs a Macbook Pro) is a practical option to take away alongside my work laptop.
Thanks, as always, for sticking around through this slow period here (because of my busy period outside Patreon) x
a year later... or thereabouts.
So, it's been a year since Mum passed. Well, kind of.
I mean, she died at 06:10 on 1 March 2023 AEDT, but for me, that means her time of death was actually 19:10 GMT on 28 February 2023.
So, for me, that should mean the anniversary of her passing was on 28 February 2024.
Except that this year is a leap year, so 06:10 AEDT on 1 March 2024 was 19:10 GMT on 29 February 2024.
Confused yet?
If I base the anniversary on the date she passed away in Australia (as that's where she was), then I'm posting this late. But it's still only 1 March 2024 here in London, so I guess I get longer to mark the anniversary.
Has anyone noticed I possess a certain sentimentality and a penchant for marking such important dates at precisely the right moment?
Though I didn't have a chance to post about it at either of the potentially recognised moments, it's been on my mind for some time, particularly during the evening on 28 February when it felt like I should acknowledge the passing of a year since her death.
Dad and I acknowledged the anniversary within the hour of her passing on 1 March 2024, his time, in our family WhatsApp chat.
Yesterday afternoon, a little before and a little after my day's sitting with Francois ended, and before I left for my first sitting of the year with my regulars, I edited these two photos to share with this post acknowledging the anniversary.
Although I don't think she had any particular preference for daffodils (I don't remember them appearing often within bouquets she bought or received), her death will now be inextricably linked to them in my mind because of her passing on St David's Day and, in particular, because of her Welsh ancestry.
So, I was already thinking ahead to today when I photographed these two specimens in Frank's backyard the last weekend I sat him in mid-February. Knowing there would be photographs of daffodils as part of my tribute to her this year, as I have access to very few photos of her, and most I've already shared. While thinking ahead to the date and time conundrum as the impact of this leap year had already occurred to me by then.
One thing I didn't get to do while I was visiting Dad was to pore over their photo albums. Two weeks isn't a long time when you're working part-time, sorting through your deceased mother's personal effects and catching up with family you haven't seen in person in about three years.
I didn't know how I would feel one year on. If I'm honest, I still don't.
I mean, there's definitely been a sea of emotions surging around me for the past week or so.
I initially hoped to write my thoughts on the "exact" anniversary (for me). But practical matters had to be dealt with. So, instead, I sort of softly welled up thinking about it without having the time or capacity to put the feelings into words. But knowing I would when I could.
I know it's cliched to say it feels like less than a year, but in the same breath, to say it feels more than a year. But it does.
It's been less than a year since we said goodbye as a family and scattered her ashes.
It's been more than a year since she and I last spoke. Or rather, I spoke to her, as she didn't have many words left by then.
So, the passing of time since her passing has been warped and bent. Though that's not uncommon. I know others feel similarly about the passing of their loved ones, even without the added confusion of leap years interfering with their marking of time.
I wrote a lot about her last year. And I don't doubt I will write more in time. I took photos while visiting my family in Australia that triggered memories, anecdotes, and so forth that I hope to capture in words. Some I'll capture for myself. Others I'll share.
In the meantime, as Spring drags its feet returning to England, the daffodils rush in and bloom on the verges and traffic islands, in suburban gardens, central London parks, cemeteries, the local supermarket, the vase in the entry to our building placed there by my Welsh neighbour who lives downstairs. And in my mind.
For Mum. In her memory.
arseways round
The portrait of Mouri above I took while cat-sitting her and her father, Dugla, nicely sums up 2022.
It wasn’t a bad year as such.
It was just a bit befuddling, stressful and a constant balancing act.
I experienced worse and more frequent panic attacks earlier in the year due to health issues. I’m hoping the trigger has just turned out to be a new food intolerance (the jury’s still out). But I became near-agoraphobic for a period.
In addition, I got a bite guard and discovered I was both vitamin D deficient and B12 anaemic again 15 years later.
With some time, stern self-talk, medical tests and procedures, I seem to have brought the psychological impact of the potential food intolerance under control. But I need to confirm my suspicions before things return to “normal” (though, even then, the likely culprit is so widespread that “normal” is definitely subjective).
My year started well with temporary work beginning in mid-January. It allowed me to get back on my feet financially after a couple of years of sporadic work and the lingering psychological impact from previous jobs.
And the job offer came despite my being open about my experience photographing roadkill. I shared that in the context of the organisation focussing on haematology as I would potentially have to interact with graphic and disturbing imagery.
Almost a year on, my managers and co-workers are some of the best people I’ve worked with.
They’re inclusive. They understand work-life balance. There’s zero bullying and no alpha male egos to contend with. Bliss.
At this stage, I expect to continue to work with them for a few more months at least, but we’ll see what lies ahead.
Despite the positive start to 2022, the year was bookended by death. And there was also the loss of a beautiful kitteh I stayed with in October.
Anthony left us unexpectedly in January, and a friend’s mother passed in November. So I attended my second-ever virtual funeral toward the beginning and my first-ever in-person funeral toward the end of the year.
Though the degree to which I knew each was quite different, both were meaningful losses.
On the positive side, this year I:
Had my hair cut and coloured for the first time since early October 2019.
Attended my first live gig since the pandemic started.
Visited four art exhibitions.
Read a book cover-to-cover in one evening (okay, technically, it was a short story, but it’s the most I’ve read in book form since 2021…)
Resumed my language studies (late in the year, this is recent).
Continued my letter-writing (albeit just one this year…)
Took some new self-portraits.
Continued to share curated series from my sepulchre work and travel photographs, and I swapped fungi for flowers.
Created the odd digital collage.
Dabbled in AI art.
Engaged with at least 40 people on dating apps (though at least five turned out to be douches) and went on dates with 10 of those I chatted with (who were mostly not those who turned out to be douches).
This year, I found something of a second home in Bromley, cat-sitting Lily, Sammy and Poppy most months of the year.
The current Primark was originally Medhursts department store, where David Bowie used to buy vinyl. And I popped by to look at a couple of the houses he lived in as a lad.
Earlier in the year, while cat-sitting, I revisited the Imperial Arms in Chislehurst and wandered through
Elmstead Wood and
I didn’t travel as far afield as I’d hoped, but I did manage to venture out of London to visit
Leeds Castle and
in Cotton End, just outside of Bedford, and an overnight stay in Bedford a few months later.
And days out in London included revisiting
Regent’s Park with my new co-workers and visiting
the Sky Garden for the first time with friends old and new.
It was a quiet year on the cemetery front.
I revisited Abney Park Cemetery on a first date.
I visited Grove Park Cemetery for the first time.
And dropped in to see William Blake and John Bunyan in Bunhill Fields for the third time.
Stopping to chit-chat with the resident squirrels.
Sitting Lottie (and her loss) led to a renewed friendship with Sarah and a wander along the New River (not new, not a river) from Hornsey to Bowes Park.
Hopefully, in 2023, we’ll continue that walk north from Bowes Park.
It was an absolute pleasure sitting with Lottie earlier this year despite her being poorly.
I love this portrait I took of her because it’s so uncharacteristic of such a sweet-natured kitteh. Obviously, she was yawning - not threatening to decapitate me - at the time. Though it may seem otherwise.
Alongside my new friendship with Lottie and recurring stays with Lily, Sammy and Poppy, and Meg and Mog, I added
Mia (including her cat-sitting me with her cat-mother, Sophie, post-medical procedure),
Dugla,
Mouri and
Bentley to my close feline friends this year.
In 2022, I spent 63 nights with smooshable kittehs and visited kittehs locally 13 times.
I had 10 furry clients. Five of them were new clients.
I’m hoping my mojo will be fully restored in 2023. So I can enjoy kitteh-sits, doggo-sits, and photo walks further afield. And continue to hang out with my faves closer to home.
And on the creative side, I look forward to creating and sharing:
Themed chapbooks (including photographs, writing, collages, sketches, musical compositions and curated playlists).
Collaborations.
Possibly some AI art (but likely incorporated into other work).
More instalments of existing series, including my love letters to london.
New series I’m yet to discover.
I hope your 2022 went as smoothly as possible and that 2023 will bring you lots of good things. xx
Love letters to London: Rivers, canals and waterways
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 12 November 2021].
It's been a long time between drinks, but I'm finally sharing another love letter to London!
This was supposed to be a project I published once a month this year to celebrate my ten-year Londonversary. Despite being well behind target for various reasons, I am hoping to complete the project this year. (Or, failing that, by my eleven-year Londonversary in January 2022.)
So, if you've been thirsting for more, you'll be pleased to know this one is bursting with water. Perhaps not so pleased to hear it's not the potable kind.
As mentioned in my ode to the wild life I've discovered (not that type, this type), the subject of this love letter isn't vaguely exclusive to London or even the UK.
But rivers, canals and waterways are prominent features in this city. Even the subterranean or "lost" rivers.
Here are just a few of my favourites.
River Thames
It's hard to imagine London without the River Thames threading through it from east to west. It's been such an integral element of the city since its establishment, and according to Wikipedia, "has played several roles in human history: as an economic resource, a maritime route, a boundary, a fresh water source, a source of food and more recently a leisure facility."
Probably my first awareness of the Thames' existence was through the title sequence of EastEnders and the Thames Television ident. Both of which I regularly saw on Australia's ABCTV during my childhood.
Growing up in Brisbane and Melbourne, where the Brisbane and Yarra Rivers are central to each city, the Thames just seemed like more of the same. And it kind of is, except at London Bridge, the Thames is about double the width the Yarra is at Princes Bridge, which is what I was comparing it to when I first crossed it.
Like the Yarra, it mostly takes on a muddy brown tinge. But in the right light, it appears a lovely blue. And at night - with the various bridges spanning it and buildings and landmarks lining north and south banks lit up - it has a beauty about it that almost always stops me in my tracks.
It's also one of the ideal ways to explore the city I love. And a place to start when introducing newcomers to London.
If you're ever struggling to decide where to go for a (photo) walk in London: choose north or south of the river and a starting point. Then walk until you run out of steam and find a cosy pub to rest your weary feet.
I've done this many times with many people, and I've still not walked the entire length of it within London.
And, if you want a different angle, there are plenty of spots where the river intersects with docks and basins. And even Bow Creek (the tidal estuary of the River Lea) by Trinity Buoy Wharf.
Regent's Canal
Speaking of basins that intersect with the Thames: Regent's Canal links with the River Thames via Limehouse Basin.
The canal winds its way through the east and across the north of London. Then over to the west of the Regent's Park.
I've not yet wandered the eastern arm of the canal with my D700. My visits to that part of the canal have often been during the evening or while lost after catching the wrong night bus home.
However, the sections from King's Cross to Camden and Camden to the Regent's Park have been the subject of at least two photo walks I've taken with friends. And a pleasant stroll with a former school teacher who was visiting the city a few years ago now.
While Venice and Amsterdam are far more renowned for their canals, coming from Australia, where there are few canals, I've developed something of an obsession with London's canals.
Photographically, London's canals are such a brilliant mix of posh and dirty. They often pass through the grandest suburbs and give you a glimpse at the rear of impressive homes. Whilst littered with abandoned objects, rubbish and plenty of graffiti.
The sections of Regent's Canal I've walked along most often pass through the regenerated King's Cross with its newly established Gasholder Park. Through iconic Camden. Along the south of fashionable Primrose Hill. And through the northern border of the Regent's Park itself.
There is plenty of birdlife to be found on and by the water. And a nice mix of natural and industrial decoration lining it.
The locks, in particular, always intrigue me.
There are always reflections to reward your photographic eye.
And I have something of a fascination with the narrowboats that line the canals of London. I'm not sure how practical I'd find narrowboat life, in actuality. But they have a similar appeal to me as caravans have had for most of my life.
Grand Union Canal - Paddington Arm
A more recent addition to my list of London canals visited, the Paddington arm of the Grand Union Canal has a lot going for it in my books.
As the longest merged canal in the UK, the Grand Union Canal runs from London to Birmingham. And, interestingly, includes Regent's Canal in its length.
I've walked a relatively short stretch of this canal. But it's notable for me as it runs between the Kensal Green Gasworks on the Ladbroke Grove side and Kensal Green Cemetery, one of the 'Magnificent Seven' cemeteries.
Or rather, it did, as the Kensal Green Gasworks started to be demolished in March this year to make way for new residential development (of course).
New River
Which now brings me, finally, to waterways.
More specifically, the New River, which is, in fact, neither new nor a river. But it has a soft spot in my heart as it runs through my part of London.
I'm still to fully explore it to the north, from Hornsey to Enfield and beyond. And from Finsbury Park to its terminus. But I've had a pint by the water's edge in Enfield before, and I've seen (and photographed) its source near Hertford.
I hope to undertake the walk north along the New River Path sometime soon (though possibly not until the weather warms again!) And to share photos from that and my previous walk - from Hornsey south to Finsbury Park - with you in a selection of photo essays.
a gentle reminder
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 19 June 2021].
A second long, emotionally exhausting call today. The final clarification. Confirmation of the closing of a chapter.
I got some answers. I got an answer I expected, but that still stung and disappointed me.
At the end of it all, I still feel there are puzzle pieces forever lost down the back of the couch. But the jigsaw was thrown out months ago, so does it really matter anymore?
After the call and freshening up, I ventured outside into an overcast day.
And there, in our garden, just by the path across the front of the building, I saw a poppy.
I've never seen them in our garden in all of the five years I've lived here. But there are also some - yet to flower - along the main path. I noticed them on my return from the supermarket.
I took some photos with my phone on the way out but took my D700 down to take some more once I had returned and put away my purchases.
Seeing this delicate beauty in my yard - seemingly having appeared out of nowhere - was a gentle reminder to me on a day like today. When everything feels like it's gone to shite, that even in darkness, there is beauty.
There are new beginnings to be discovered and embraced. Unexpected but treasured.
The past two years have been difficult and stressful for me for so many reasons, and the past six months feels like it has reached a fever pitch.
Maybe this final gut-punch is what I need to move forward and find my focus again. Focus that's been gone for too long. But particularly so in the past year.
I value genuine lovers, close relationships, loyalty, honesty and openness. But I've never defined myself by my romantic relationships.
I've never needed a relationship to prove my self-worth, and sometimes they actually serve to make me lose sight of my own self-worth and direction.
To lose focus by creating a distraction and additional problems to solve, instead of solving the most important things I should be focussing on.
And, at times like these, I'm reminded that I crave new beginnings. New seasons of self. And the blossoming of new ideas and opportunities.
Here's to new beginnings.
019 tulips
Day nineteen of The 100 Day Project for 2021.
Without having a chance to do any research or watch tutorials or whatnot, I tried out some more pencils in my selection.
I started off with a trusty HB (though a "proper" one without that waxy feel!). Then I used a 6B for the darker shadows (as previously, but a sharper new pencil). I worked with a 4B for the lighter shading.
There was some amateur finger-rubbing to try to soften the lines in the shadows I was creating. It was successful to varying degrees.
I probably did it all wrong in terms of my pencil selection. And my more talented drawing friends can educate me, and/or the tutorials I'll try to watch this weekend will.
And I know there are shape and proportion issues with today's sketch, but I think you'd all know they were tulips even without the source image, so you know, progress.
And the tip of the tulip on the left looks as much like labia as the original source image. So win-win, right? ;)
The source image was taken in St Mary's Churchyard in Hornsey back in March 2019.