I had hoped to share photos of Lottie I took with my "proper" camera back in late October. After returning home from being her companion, nursemaid and room attendant and having her as my therapist for almost two weeks.
Unfortunately, life has been (even more) exhausting on several fronts since early October.
Until now, I haven't had a chance to do more than import and edit the photos I took with my D700. Though I shared plenty of my iPhone photos to social media during my time in her home.
One of Lottie's adoring humans, Sarah - a talented wedding photographer and a fellow cat-sitter - became a virtual friend back in the mid-2000s on Flickr as part of the (now-defunct) Female Self-Portrait Artists Support Group (FSPASG).
We finally met in person in 2011 when we attended a workshop run by Miss Aniela and Brooke Shaden in Eastbourne.
It turned out we lived in adjacent suburbs here in London, but I think we'll take equal blame for how irregularly we've met up since then. Though we now live 30 minutes walk apart, and lived closer for a period when I was in Wood Green and then Bounds Green.
I think the last time we'd met up before October was for drinks at one of our joint local pubs for my birthday, along with at least one other FSPASG member, Sevgi. I don't remember the year.
When I posted to my social media accounts that I'd fallen into cat-sitting, Sarah mentioned the Cat In A Flat site. I stumbled upon it while researching what I should charge for my services. Once I established that cat-sitting was something I could not only do but enjoy.
So, when she and Pete decided Lottie needed a sleepover buddy, not just a once or twice-a-day visitor, she messaged me to ask if I was free.
Lottie had been unwell for some time, but the vets couldn't figure out why.
I had scooped up dead mice and cleaned up poop from a kitteh going through some behavioural issues. So, the concept of cleaning up kitteh puke at least once a day for almost two weeks didn't put me off hanging with Lottie.
We met a couple of times before the sitting started, and she was such a sweet, placid kitteh.
Lottie proved even more affectionate and approachable when I arrived a few hours after Sarah and Pete left.
She spent a lot of time napping on the pillows on the bed. But when she felt up to it, she would come to listen to my Teams calls while I worked. I would clear a spot for her by my keyboard, or she would sit on my lap if there wasn't space to park her butt on the desk.
I checked on her regularly when she wasn't nudging my hands as I typed or draping her tail across my keyboard.
I brought her breakfast (lunch, dinner and in-between meals) in bed as she had lost interest in going downstairs for anything except using her litter.
The first two nights I stayed, she woke me at 03:00 and 06:00 with her loud eating by the bed. Thank goodness I don't have misophonia...
She quickly fell into sharing her night-time ritual with me. She waited until I was settled and lying down, then walked on my belly and chest. Sometimes she would settle down and curl up on me. Sometimes she just stared me down from her higher vantage point.
On one of the days when I could have a lie-in, we started our day this way, and then she curled up against my body on the bed.
The first couple of nights, she had her pillow chosen. I slept on the other side (which suited me as it was the opposite side, away from her food). But we fast fell into a pattern of her curling up on the pillow above my head, purring away. The proximity provided great comfort to both of us though sometimes her long whiskers made me giggle when they tickled my face.
I would wake at about 06:00 to her watching me. The sort of gaze that, if it came from a lover, might be disturbing or sweet, depending on your temperament (and maybe their intent and expression).
I'd rouse myself to fetch her fresh wet food for breakfast, and then we'd settle for a few more hours of sleep until I had to work.
Though there were a couple of days where the combined stresses of news from Australia about my Mum's health, the project in my day job causing me to work long hours and worrying about Lottie's health overwhelmed me. More often than not, spending time with Lottie and worrying about her distracted me from the other stresses.
And she was always an absolute pleasure to be around, even with her illness.
Sarah, Pete and I obviously all hoped that, once they returned, the vets would be able to finally figure out what was wrong with Lottie.
I looked forward to staying with Lottie in future when she wasn't feeling so poorly.
So, I was heartbroken to hear that, a little over a week after Sarah and Pete returned, Lottie's health had deteriorated to the point that she had to be put to sleep. The vets finally worked out what was wrong, but too late to save her.
Sarah let me know while I was with Sammy, Lily and Poppy in Bromley, so I treasured my time with them even more than usual, having heard that news.
I wanted to edit photos of Lottie that evening. Especially knowing I'd planned to do so eight to nine days earlier. But I decided I'd prefer to write something and edit and share photos of her without rushing.
So here we are.
Such a beautiful, gentle kitteh. I feel privileged to have spent that time with Lottie. And to have (hopefully) been a comfort to her during her illness. The comfort definitely went both ways.
RIP Lottie (aka Peanut Butter Cup, as I was wont to call her).
I hope there are suitcases for you to claw and laze in where you are. That there are supine humans just waiting to be walked upon by you. That the humans there hold out the brush for you to brush your own chin. And the humans where you are will be more generous in sharing their Brie with you than I was. (Yes, I would have given you the same look if you'd put a chicken meal in front of me instead of Brie. Maybe I'd have been less cautious and more generous if I'd known how little time you'd had left).