untitled #18

^{[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 8 September 2021].}

Sometimes everything feels too much.

I feel too much.

I feel too much.

I feel too much.

Today my shoulders have been aching from stress and tension, and the past week I've had two flare-ups of vasculitis. I'm nursing my wounds. Physical, emotional and mental.

I've been kept busy and distracted by client work today.

A long call with a friend and a very brief call with my Mum and Dad in the wee hours of the morning helped somewhat last night.

Tonight I've reverted back to my hermit life. Editing photos in the dark, listening to music, with the rain outside punctuating the pauses.

My sanctuary. My sanity. My safe space.

jazz at 11 (accidental portrait of the artist’s parents)

^{[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 8 September 2021].}

monday mourning

^{[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 6 September 2021].}

Last week was another rollercoaster of emotions, for better or worse.

A phantom anniversary. Remarked upon but left uncelebrated.

The fire under emotions briefly rekindled. Absentmindedly stirred and warmed then left forgotten upon the cooling stove once more.

A meeting related to the new assignment I mentioned last week inspired me, excited me and made me at least a little jealous. But at least that jealousy will be assuaged by the opportunity to live and work in a space for a few weeks that I see as hugely inspiring.

Maybe this experience will lead to other similar opportunities. Let's see...

And then, on Friday evening, it seems I found a lovely new flatmate (subject to referencing). All going to plan, she'll move in at the beginning of October.

Between emotional and physical upheavals, September will potentially be looked back upon (and for now, looked forward to) as one of impermanence.

But, mostly, I hope, in a good way.

daysleeper

^{[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 4 September 2021].}

cataract gorge

^{[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 31 August 2021].}

unstained glass

^{[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 29 August 2021].}

This week has been such a mixed bag. A rollercoaster of emotions.

High points: spending the evening with friends doing a BYO quiz at a pub on the other side of town, and long chats with friends far away about life, love, art, work and the future.

Low points: feelings of panic, fear and dread. Some of that feeling has calmed, but it'll be a while before it goes. And there is so much more left to do to lift it.

Meanwhile, and possibly related, the past few days have been the most productive I've been able to have since before I caught Covid. Especially in terms of working on things long overdue that will move me further in the direction I want to go.

I've been working on avenues to find new clients, including updating and adding projects to my profile on The Dots. I still have more projects to add, but it now includes some social media design and copywriting work I did in my previous job.

Unfortunately, you can only view the content of my projects when logged in. If you're a member, feel free to connect with me.

I've also been working on profiles on other sites. And I need to create a portfolio website showcasing my design, social media, book design, editorial photography, writing work, etc. Not just my photography, which is what my main website is for.

I also seem to have fallen into a new line of work. My first assignment is expected to start from 13 September for three weeks, running alongside any other projects I pick up during that time.

Some of you already know what it is (no spoilers in the comments, please!) But I'm going to keep it under wraps for everyone else until it starts.

I hope it will inspire me, lead to new photo series, and maybe even involve collaboration. I'll say no more for now.

I hope those of you in the UK are having a pleasant bank holiday weekend and that all of you are staying safe and well x

untitled #174

^{[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 27 August 2021].}

I took a little break from #FungiFriday the past few weeks, but today they're back :)

damn paparazzi!

^{[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 25 August 2021].}

hotel ^^^^

^{[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 24 August 2021].}

swan song

^{[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 23 August 2021].}

I'm a day late with my Sepulchral Sunday offering for last week. But I was out most of yesterday catching up with Phil to visit The Wallace Collection.

It was an inspiring day that included seeing Les hasards heureux de l'escarpolette (The Swing) by Jean-Honoré Fragonard up close.

Other highlights included:

• The Laughing Cavalier by Frans Hals,

• two views of Venice by Canaletto I was familiar with from a book I read about the city many years ago, and

• a selection of Animalia and hunting-trophy paintings by Jan Weenix.

I was pleased my second attempt to visit a gallery almost a month after my previous disastrous attempt was successful!

Sorry things were a little quiet around here last week. I finally managed to finish cleaning my flat post-Covid and then ended up laid low for about a day and a half after getting my second dose of the vaccine.

The pain from the vaccine was less this time. But I had a few dizzy and nauseous moments and spent most of Tuesday evening and Wednesday feeling like I was about to come down with something. My face felt warm and like I was on the verge of a headache or fever -  neither of which came, thankfully - so I took the time to rest until the side effects passed.

Around that, I did some research for a client and continued my hunt for a new flatmate.

Hopefully, all the health issues are now behind me. So I can get back to the things I need to do, including regularly sharing work with you here!

connecting the dots

A bank holiday weekend probably isn’t the best time to be pimping my professional profile. But I haven’t known what is “the weekend” and what is a “workday” for over a year now. All days are equal to me, and to be honest, I only remembered it was a bank holiday weekend this morning.

Anyway, I’ve spent the past couple of days updating and adding more projects to my profile on The Dots. Though I still have more projects to add, I thought I’d share the link and a screen capture of my public profile. In case you or anyone you know may be looking for a freelancer or employee with my skills and experience.

Unfortunately, you can only view the content of my projects when logged into The Dots, but it’s quick (and free!) to sign up to have a nose around.

If you’re already a member, feel free to connect!

I’m also working on profiles on other sites and a portfolio website showcasing my design, social media, book design, editorial photography, writing work, etc. I’ll share those links as soon as I can.

So, if you or someone you know is looking for someone like me to work with or to be part of your team, hit me up at propaganda@bronwenhyde.com or get in contact through The Dots or LinkedIn.

I’m happy to have clients globally, so don’t be shy if you’re not in the UK!

thinking of a dream i had

^{[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 20 August 2021].}

until the day break and the shadows flee away

^{[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 15 August 2021].}

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untitled #22 [st andrew’s church, totteridge village, barnet, london, england, 2021]

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until the day break and the shadows flee away [st andrew’s church, totteridge village, barnet, london, england, 2021]

untitled #79

^{[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 14 August 2021].}

respect your elders

^{[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 12 August 2021].}

from the stable yard

^{[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 11 August 2021].}

I ticked quite a few things off my to-do list today but not the major ones I need to. Like cleaning the kitchen and finding new clients, both of which I need to have done "yesterday".

While it was mostly a good day because I closed off some items and stopped to pet Susie on my way back from the high street. Tonight I'm feeling flat.

Finding a flatmate is proving to be as time-consuming and demoralising as trying to find a new flat usually is. I really don't have time for it right now, but I need a new flatmate as soon as humanly possible.

I had lots of energy and focus today for bringing in business and getting more of my work out into the world. But, instead, it had to be channelled into more immediate domestic tasks.

When I could finally sit down to decide what to share today, I perused many possible places from my travels near and far. But it was one of those days when nothing felt right, nothing fit my mood.

Eventually, I settled on this image, which I actually edited back in September 2019 but for some reason hadn't previously shared online.

I took this photo of the entrance to Hatfield House from the stable yard back in July 2019. It reminds me of so many Merchant-Ivory period films.

The image feels like standing on the outside looking in, which feels appropriate to my mood tonight. But also holds the promise of possibility, which will hopefully be my mood on waking tomorrow.

communing with nature

^{[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 8 August 2021].}

A new image from my stained glass series for you this Sunday night.

Wednesday to Friday of this week was full of cleaning and life admin. On Thursday and Friday, I wanted to share work here but was too exhausted to manage it.

On the plus side: all of my flat except the kitchen and my bedroom is now clean and tidy. I'm hoping to get both of those rooms sorted early this week around everything else I need to catch up on now that I feel mostly back to normal.

Yesterday, some lovely friends visited my neck of the woods, and I was spoiled with a large, tasty lunch and lively conversation. It was good to see friends in person for the first time in almost a month.

Eating out and being maskless in a busy restaurant felt a bit daunting. But we managed to get a table on the edge of the outdoor area, which made it feel slightly less so.

The in-person conversation was complimented by another long and winding phone conversation with a friend into the wee hours afterwards.

Today was relatively short but productive. I feel like my body and mind are in recovery mode after a physically and emotionally exhausting week. So I'll be having an early night - by my standards - to try to help me face all the things I need to get through this coming week.

what’s in store for you?

I've spent most of today working on setting up the print store. And I'm reminded, once again, of why I haven't done it sooner...

The limitations of shipping price settings where you have framed prints versus unframed prints is just one.

I'm still working on it, but for now, I thought I'd take a break to remind you that you don't have to wait for my online store to go live if you'd like to buy a print!*

I have a selection of self-portraiture and alternate worlds photographs to hand. Some framed as at exhibition, some unframed.

And my work isn't just self-portraiture and graveyards, as you may have noticed. There are plenty of landscapes and images of the minutiae of everyday life to choose from.

Most of my work is available to purchase as prints. If you've seen an image on my blog or social media you can't spy on my website, do feel free to ask.

Found something you fancy? Email me at propaganda@bronwenhyde.com

I can let you know availability, edition details, sizes and prices, plus shipping costs to wherever you are in the world. Open editions start from just £50 plus shipping.

Of course, if you're a patron at 'the perfect 10' tier or above, your 10% print discount applies as long as you remain a patron.

^{*Now would be a super time for you to buy a print. No one wants me to have to set up an Only Fans account!}

too much stress!

^{[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 4 August 2021].}

Much delayed, I've made my book, darkness & light - a collection of 109 of my 366 days self-portraits - available again on Blurb.

A friend of mine who missed buying it when it was first available asked me about it. I don't even know how long ago now. On the back of that, I've finally made it available for a while again.

How long it will be available is yet to be seen. But if you didn't snap up a copy (or didn't know about it) back in 2008, now is your chance to be one of a limited number of folk to have your sweaty palms on a copy.

Because it's print on demand, signed copies are complicated but not impossible, if you want that. Email me at propaganda@bronwenhyde.com if this takes your fancy, and we can work out the logistics.

This is an outtake from the project I edited tonight, almost 14 years later.

The final image for the project for this day was a diptych entitled peeping tom, inspired by the 1960 Michael Powell film of the same name. It was a brilliantly creepy film, so well made, and tapped into my love of photography and psychological thrillers/horrors.

burleigh heads

^{[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 3 August 2021].}

Today was a stressful one, and there was a "doze, not quite a nap" this afternoon when I pushed through for too long without eating.

But I got important life admin sorted, and I booked an appointment for my second dose of the vaccine, so there's that.

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dogs prohibited beyond this point [burleigh heads, queensland, australia, 2009]

Today I felt the urge to share a little photo essay of photographs I took at Burleigh Heads on the Gold Coast in Queensland back in 2009.

At the time, I was visiting for my birthday. But later in the year, for various reasons, I moved to live with my parents in Redland Bay at the other end of the Pacific Highway.

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untitled #240 [burleigh heads, queensland, australia, 2009]

In 2002, when I'd returned from the UK, I'd lived with them in the Gold Coast hinterland. In Bonogin. My then-partner and I would drive to Burleigh Heads most days to walk along this stretch of the Gold Coast.

It was a beautiful spot to be and provided a stark contrast to the Gold Coast tourist drag of Surfers Paradise. I was more familiar with that part of the Gold Coast from my primary school years when I lived in Brisbane.

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untitled #241 [burleigh heads, queensland, australia, 2009]

I feel a postcard from another's life related to my relationship with the Gold Coast coming in time. It was an annual pilgrimage for our family in my early years, punctuated by fluorescent beachwear and putt-putt golf.

Later, while at college, it was a place of cultural cringe for me.

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untitled #242 [burleigh heads, queensland, australia, 2009]

In 2002 and 2009, I could see the beauty again in areas outside of the tourist traps. I hope this is what I shared with a partner in 2019, though I still hold a love for the kitsch 1980s Surfers Paradise in my heart to this day.

It's complicated.

Isn't it always?