[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 17 December 2021].
untitled #9
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 15 December 2021].
fruitful
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 11 December 2021].
Love letters to London: Rivers, canals and waterways
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 12 November 2021].
It's been a long time between drinks, but I'm finally sharing another love letter to London!
This was supposed to be a project I published once a month this year to celebrate my ten-year Londonversary. Despite being well behind target for various reasons, I am hoping to complete the project this year. (Or, failing that, by my eleven-year Londonversary in January 2022.)
So, if you've been thirsting for more, you'll be pleased to know this one is bursting with water. Perhaps not so pleased to hear it's not the potable kind.
As mentioned in my ode to the wild life I've discovered (not that type, this type), the subject of this love letter isn't vaguely exclusive to London or even the UK.
But rivers, canals and waterways are prominent features in this city. Even the subterranean or "lost" rivers.
Here are just a few of my favourites.
River Thames
It's hard to imagine London without the River Thames threading through it from east to west. It's been such an integral element of the city since its establishment, and according to Wikipedia, "has played several roles in human history: as an economic resource, a maritime route, a boundary, a fresh water source, a source of food and more recently a leisure facility."
Probably my first awareness of the Thames' existence was through the title sequence of EastEnders and the Thames Television ident. Both of which I regularly saw on Australia's ABCTV during my childhood.
Growing up in Brisbane and Melbourne, where the Brisbane and Yarra Rivers are central to each city, the Thames just seemed like more of the same. And it kind of is, except at London Bridge, the Thames is about double the width the Yarra is at Princes Bridge, which is what I was comparing it to when I first crossed it.
Like the Yarra, it mostly takes on a muddy brown tinge. But in the right light, it appears a lovely blue. And at night - with the various bridges spanning it and buildings and landmarks lining north and south banks lit up - it has a beauty about it that almost always stops me in my tracks.
It's also one of the ideal ways to explore the city I love. And a place to start when introducing newcomers to London.
If you're ever struggling to decide where to go for a (photo) walk in London: choose north or south of the river and a starting point. Then walk until you run out of steam and find a cosy pub to rest your weary feet.
I've done this many times with many people, and I've still not walked the entire length of it within London.
And, if you want a different angle, there are plenty of spots where the river intersects with docks and basins. And even Bow Creek (the tidal estuary of the River Lea) by Trinity Buoy Wharf.
Regent's Canal
Speaking of basins that intersect with the Thames: Regent's Canal links with the River Thames via Limehouse Basin.
The canal winds its way through the east and across the north of London. Then over to the west of the Regent's Park.
I've not yet wandered the eastern arm of the canal with my D700. My visits to that part of the canal have often been during the evening or while lost after catching the wrong night bus home.
However, the sections from King's Cross to Camden and Camden to the Regent's Park have been the subject of at least two photo walks I've taken with friends. And a pleasant stroll with a former school teacher who was visiting the city a few years ago now.
While Venice and Amsterdam are far more renowned for their canals, coming from Australia, where there are few canals, I've developed something of an obsession with London's canals.
Photographically, London's canals are such a brilliant mix of posh and dirty. They often pass through the grandest suburbs and give you a glimpse at the rear of impressive homes. Whilst littered with abandoned objects, rubbish and plenty of graffiti.
The sections of Regent's Canal I've walked along most often pass through the regenerated King's Cross with its newly established Gasholder Park. Through iconic Camden. Along the south of fashionable Primrose Hill. And through the northern border of the Regent's Park itself.
There is plenty of birdlife to be found on and by the water. And a nice mix of natural and industrial decoration lining it.
The locks, in particular, always intrigue me.
There are always reflections to reward your photographic eye.
And I have something of a fascination with the narrowboats that line the canals of London. I'm not sure how practical I'd find narrowboat life, in actuality. But they have a similar appeal to me as caravans have had for most of my life.
Grand Union Canal - Paddington Arm
A more recent addition to my list of London canals visited, the Paddington arm of the Grand Union Canal has a lot going for it in my books.
As the longest merged canal in the UK, the Grand Union Canal runs from London to Birmingham. And, interestingly, includes Regent's Canal in its length.
I've walked a relatively short stretch of this canal. But it's notable for me as it runs between the Kensal Green Gasworks on the Ladbroke Grove side and Kensal Green Cemetery, one of the 'Magnificent Seven' cemeteries.
Or rather, it did, as the Kensal Green Gasworks started to be demolished in March this year to make way for new residential development (of course).
New River
Which now brings me, finally, to waterways.
More specifically, the New River, which is, in fact, neither new nor a river. But it has a soft spot in my heart as it runs through my part of London.
I'm still to fully explore it to the north, from Hornsey to Enfield and beyond. And from Finsbury Park to its terminus. But I've had a pint by the water's edge in Enfield before, and I've seen (and photographed) its source near Hertford.
I hope to undertake the walk north along the New River Path sometime soon (though possibly not until the weather warms again!) And to share photos from that and my previous walk - from Hornsey south to Finsbury Park - with you in a selection of photo essays.
untitled #18
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 8 September 2021].
Sometimes everything feels too much.
I feel too much.
I feel too much.
I feel too much.
Today my shoulders have been aching from stress and tension, and the past week I've had two flare-ups of vasculitis. I'm nursing my wounds. Physical, emotional and mental.
I've been kept busy and distracted by client work today.
A long call with a friend and a very brief call with my Mum and Dad in the wee hours of the morning helped somewhat last night.
Tonight I've reverted back to my hermit life. Editing photos in the dark, listening to music, with the rain outside punctuating the pauses.
My sanctuary. My sanity. My safe space.
until the day break and the shadows flee away
untitled #79
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 14 August 2021].
respect your elders
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 12 August 2021].
in isolation
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 18 July 2021].
Today feels like it's been two days.
An hour before midnight, Anna Maria Drutzel and I started what became a 5-hour-and-15-minute epic call. As usual, it was full of hope, dreams, plans, art, nostalgia, heartache, loss, catharsis and love. A whirlwind of words and thoughts.
After catching up on a flurry of messages and comments from friends and family, I finally called "my" Saturday a day and went to bed about 5:30.
About 10:00, I was woken by the NHS Test and Trace team, but not realising who was calling, I let the call go to voicemail. An hour and a half later, I caught up with my Dad on Skype to update him on everything and catch up on where things are at with him.
I managed not to take any painkillers today, and I'm feeling much better than yesterday.
I've had a few light-headed moments and waves of fatigue. I'm guessing that's likely to continue for a while, so I'm being gentle with myself and trying not to overdo things. Despite feeling I have so much to catch up on, and though I'd hoped for a full day of photo editing today.
The morning proper brought with it more messages and comments to reply to.
In the past month, I've been overwhelmingly reminded of the bounty I have in friends and family as they've rallied around me through the latest trial or tribulation. As each new wave bowls me over, my people bowl me over with their love, concern, support and encouragement. Again and again. I am so incredibly thankful for them. Every one.
As physically isolated as I am right now, for most of today, I've felt anything but.
But as the day closes once more, the silence, absence and emptiness feel palpable.
Where usually I'd be ecstatic at having my flat all to myself, it feels full of ghosts tonight. The occasional light breeze drifts through my bedroom and disturbs a million thoughts hanging in the air.
Though physically, I feel much better and stronger than I have for days, my heart feels weaker tonight. Broken once again. The pieces lay scattered across the floorboards still.
Usually, I would drown this feeling. Wash it away with amber waves. But I've had no such potion in the house since last Wednesday night.
So instead, I'm drowning in this feeling. And will likely seek another early night to find a release from the clamouring thoughts. And hope that, in the morning, they will shake free of my hair when I rise.
locked out
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 17 July 2021].
So today, continuing the theme for the year, the result for the PCR test I took yesterday came back positive for Covid-19.
Because, of course.
Though, hilariously, because of everything else that's already happened this year, somehow, this is the least upsetting or disappointing piece of news I've received in the past seven to eight months.
It just seems like another piece of the puzzle that is my 2021.
Thank Science, I'd already had one dose of the vaccine, so the worst of it already seems to have passed.
No thanks to all the English football fans on the Tube on Sunday shouting 'It's coming home!' at the top of their lungs. While wearing masks around their necks instead of over their massive gobs.
Even with all my obsessive hand-sanitising, masking and not touching a damned thing while commuting, I'm sure that's where I caught it. And based on my symptoms, I'd lay bets it was the much more contagious (but, thankfully, less deadly) Delta strain.
Amusingly, today, as I completed the NHS Test and Trace documentation after receiving my results, I realised I have, in fact, lost my sense of smell. Though not my sense of taste.
To confirm this, I:
sniffed heavily of my dried thyme (which has been my go-to for checking for covid previously),
stuck my nose into a large jar of peanut butter, and
sniffed rosemary and oregano in their bottles.
All registered a complete blank for scent.
Despite not having showered since leaving the flat at 11:30 yesterday to go for the PCR test, further confirmation has been provided by my apparent lack of body odour at 19:00 the next day. Anyone who knows me and knows how I sweat in 26-degree heat (yesterday's temperature), especially after walking for more than 90 minutes, knows this is a physical impossibility. My sense of smell has definitely left the building.
And, I guess, so has my shock and indignation at anything 2021 has left to throw at me.
on the fence
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 12 July 2021].
Despite the hormonal cocktail of the past weekend and a bit, it was predominantly filled with much-needed human interactions.
Long conversations - both virtual and face-to-face - with people I've had long-lasting friendships with.
A mix of topics, a mix of emotions. But all, ultimately, supportive, inspiring, empathetic. And, once again, demonstrating how lucky I am to have built up such a wonderfully supportive network of humans around me.
I had the chance to repay one of those good friends by visiting him in hospital yesterday while he's in for observation. (He's doing well and in good spirits). That's pretty much the only way you'll ever manage to lure me into central London on the day of a football final, especially where England are in the finals and hosting them.
Unfortunately, England's loss last night resulted in an utterly predictable outpouring of racism, hooliganism and destruction. I'm not convinced a win would have changed that aspect of the night. The only positive I took from the situation was a deathly silence post-game which I would not have enjoyed if they had won.
On the positive side: venturing into the city yesterday provided me with a chance to refocus my attention on someone else's situation and away from my interior monologue.
We had a two-plus hour conversation about our respective futures. About writing. About my art. About grasping opportunities.
On the negative side: I finally saw the National Covid Memorial Wall along the Thames, below St Thomas' Hospital, firsthand. It was overwhelming in its sheer extent, and I didn't have the emotional strength to walk the length of it. The complete lifting of England's covid restrictions in a week feels all too soon.
Some contract work I've been doing has now ended. My latest freelance gig was completed last week. So this week, I will be busy drumming up some new work, creating for you, and having at least one potential flatmate viewing my flat.
I also have many ideas whirling around in my head that I'd like to start developing.
And, at least for the rest of this evening, I'll be enjoying the sound of the rain outside my window while I edit more photos.
I hope your week is full of rainbows after the storms x
under gloucester avenue
[I originally posted this image as early access for my Patreon patrons on 10 July 2021].
untitled #25
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 25 June 2021].
I've decided it's about time my collection of fungi images were brought out of the dark and into the light more regularly.
So welcome to a new curated series I'll share with you going forward on #FungiFriday: the fungus among us.
This fellow was perched on the side of a tree on the side of the path on Parkland Walk.
untitled #51
[I originally posted this image as early access for my Patreon patrons on 24 June 2021].
untitled #41
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 21 June 2021].
A simple, calm photograph for you today.
Nice light on those pine cones.
The past couple of days have also been calm. Productive. Focussed. Things I don't feel like I've felt for months now, though I'm sure there were some days in there that fit that description.
Sleep Cycle tells me I had 100% sleep quality on Saturday night/Sunday morning. That is unheard of for me. Even when I went to New Zealand in 2018, my first high-quality sleep wasn't that high.
But last night/this morning was full of stressful dreams and arguments in my sleep with a former lover from years ago, leaving me emotionally exhausted upon waking.
Tonight, I spent the evening working on photos for my Love Letters to London series while listening to one of my homemade Spotify playlists, Better Together.
I have plans made with a friend or two to catch up in person this weekend. A phone call with a friend back in Australia scheduled for the wee hours of Friday morning. Maybe a call with Dad in a little while.
Plans tentatively made for a London photo walk in August with a friend; plans years in the making. A plan to meet the same friend for a long weekend in Chichester in late September, presuming we're not back in lockdown again then.
And - if the weather is as forecast and I'm not feeling too lazy - I'll see how far I can make it along the New River Path (the London stretch). One day this week, when it's closer to 20 than 25 degrees and the rain has paused.
I hope your week is off to a good start x
a gentle reminder
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 19 June 2021].
A second long, emotionally exhausting call today. The final clarification. Confirmation of the closing of a chapter.
I got some answers. I got an answer I expected, but that still stung and disappointed me.
At the end of it all, I still feel there are puzzle pieces forever lost down the back of the couch. But the jigsaw was thrown out months ago, so does it really matter anymore?
After the call and freshening up, I ventured outside into an overcast day.
And there, in our garden, just by the path across the front of the building, I saw a poppy.
I've never seen them in our garden in all of the five years I've lived here. But there are also some - yet to flower - along the main path. I noticed them on my return from the supermarket.
I took some photos with my phone on the way out but took my D700 down to take some more once I had returned and put away my purchases.
Seeing this delicate beauty in my yard - seemingly having appeared out of nowhere - was a gentle reminder to me on a day like today. When everything feels like it's gone to shite, that even in darkness, there is beauty.
There are new beginnings to be discovered and embraced. Unexpected but treasured.
The past two years have been difficult and stressful for me for so many reasons, and the past six months feels like it has reached a fever pitch.
Maybe this final gut-punch is what I need to move forward and find my focus again. Focus that's been gone for too long. But particularly so in the past year.
I value genuine lovers, close relationships, loyalty, honesty and openness. But I've never defined myself by my romantic relationships.
I've never needed a relationship to prove my self-worth, and sometimes they actually serve to make me lose sight of my own self-worth and direction.
To lose focus by creating a distraction and additional problems to solve, instead of solving the most important things I should be focussing on.
And, at times like these, I'm reminded that I crave new beginnings. New seasons of self. And the blossoming of new ideas and opportunities.
Here's to new beginnings.
catford centre
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 17 June 2021].
I don't know about you, but I needed something visually irreverent today.
I captured this fella while out shopping for furnishings with Sophie in August 2018.
I discovered some charity shop gems that day like these chairs and Manchester City Mary. But my current furnished abode is already overstuffed with furniture and prints, so I settled for capturing them with my iPhone rather than purchasing them.
Having had dogs as family pets from about four years old, I've always been a dog person rather than a cat person. I used to really dislike cats.
There are still some aspects that make me question if I could ever live with one full time.
And I still love dogs and squee every time I see a "Quincy" (miniature schnauzer) or an "Elvie" (wire-haired fox terrier) when out and about.
But I grew to appreciate cats more over the past couple of years.
I think, in the end, I've come to understand that I'm an "animal person". I'm not exclusively a "dog person", and I'm no longer "absolutely not" a "cat person".
I just wish relationships with other humans were as uncomplicated and unconditional as with pets.
I miss having a dog companion to sense your sadness and push it away with their cold, wet nose, silly wagging tail and sloppy kisses.
A canine friend to share your excitement and happiness. To dance on hind legs with you.
A snuggly pup who can curl into your body on the couch or on the bed, and you know all they want is to love and be loved in return. And maybe some belly scratches.
And as long as you can give them that (and food and exercise), you're good enough. You're their everything. No matter how complicated or messy that everything might be.
I'm still not sure felines have that down pat yet.
moss yew like crazy
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 15 June 2021].
Sometimes obsessively checking in on Swarm pays off.
A couple of weeks ago, wandering around the churchyard at St Andrew's in Totteridge with my camera, I checked in on Swarm. As my check-in was recorded, I was tipped off that I was within metres of possibly the oldest tree in London.
A tree that, to be honest, I would likely have overlooked otherwise. But I was so pleased I didn't, as it was so much more interesting (and photogenic) than I realised until I got closer to it.
The yew tree in the churchyard is believed to be 2,000 years old. If true, that would make it the oldest tree in London. It is considered one of the Great Trees of London either way.
Though inclined to tree-climbing as a child, it's been a long time since I've felt the urge or the confidence to attempt such things. This tree and its boughs felt somehow tempting and welcoming, though I resisted the urge to climb into its arms.
Instead, I settled for capturing some abstract details of the trunk, the moss upon its surface, and the whorled and distorted shapes it presented to my lens.
Its shapes and colours reminded me of an oil slick. A terrain map. An aerial view of another planet.
direct your energy
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 10 June 2021].
Note to self.
I had a productive day today.
I managed to keep my focus for much of the day, though distraction caused by life slowed me down twice during the early afternoon and evening.
After focussing on work for clients for much of the day, I was looking forward to some photo editing but struggled to find the right image that I wanted to share.
I initially wanted to create and post a new lost in her own world collage. But I was struggling to find the right image to add to my template, so I moved on. I didn't want it to be forced.
Then I kept bypassing albums to review for a photo because they were images suited to #TravelTuesday or #SepulchralSunday posts or my Love letters to London.
As I was about to give up and have a cheese and cracker supper while watching some TV, this one popped up. So I edited it on the spot to share.
It's a promo for the gym in an archway in Thamesmead, here in London. But the lines, the light, the colours and the message caught my eye when visiting there in August 2019.
Perhaps I need to get it printed on a canvas to hang in my bedroom/workspace to help me on days when I feel like I'm wading through molasses. On days I'm struggling to see past the latest (emotional, mental, financial) hurdle placed in my path.
wall of remembrance
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 16 May 2021].
The part of me that loves a good play on words and adores puntastic titles wanted to call this deadman's curve.
The sombre respectful part of me felt I probably shouldn't. So I didn't.
Though some drivers in this cemetery, two days after Christmas last year, did drive in a way that made me worry for pedestrians wandering along the roads between the sections...