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friends in high places [great orme, llandudno, wales, 2024]

friends in high places

March 19, 2024
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 17 March 2024].

I returned home from a week in Llandudno, Wales, on Friday.

After sitting Meg and Mog in Minera in October 2021, the Avanti West Coast (AWC) leg of my journey back to London was cancelled. I contacted them to see if I might be eligible for partial compensation, even though I had a flexible ticket to allow me to catch alternative trains from Chester to London. I arrived only half an hour later than scheduled, though I had to stand in a doorway with my suitcase on an overcrowded train from Stafford to Euston when I'd had a reserved seat on the original train.

They initially issued me two vouchers for free first-class advance single travel anywhere on the AWC network within one year of issue.

Because of my finances and life, I didn't try to book them until the last day they were valid, with fingers firmly crossed I would be able to use them. That's when I found the voucher codes didn't work.

It was an issue on their part, so AWC reissued the vouchers, and they randomly issued me a third voucher. I'm still not entirely sure the third voucher wasn't a mistake, but who am I to argue with free travel?!

untitled #78 [great orme, llandudno, wales, 2024]

Once again, finances and life meant I waited until the last minute to use the vouchers. This time, all vouchers worked the first time.

I booked tickets based on quick searches for accommodation and suitable dates for leave from work, pushing things out as far as possible. I honestly didn't know if I could afford the accommodation for each or even one of them.

Ultimately, for my first trip away, I found a suitable studio flat in a converted house a short walk from the centre of Llandudno (let's be fair: everything in Llandudno is a 'short walk' from the centre) on Airbnb.

As the flat was listed by a company, not an individual, out of curiosity, I looked for it as a direct rental. I found it only slightly cheaper via the Finest Retreats website, but I also found a one-bedroom flat in the same building on their site for the same price.

Green versus blue.

Blue is my favourite colour, and a studio flat was sufficient for my needs.

But the green flat had floral wallpaper. It would allow me to create new wallflowers self-portraits.

You can guess the decision I made.

untitled #80 [great orme, llandudno, wales, 2024]

I shared several mobile photos from my trip on my Instagram during the week. But I have copious photos I took with my Nikon D700 during the week, which I'll share early access here in due course, including the wallflowers self-portraits I took on one of my "rest days" when the weather was not so great.

While staying in Llandudno, I walked the length of Marine Drive, the road that circles Great Orme, a limestone headland jutting out into the Irish Sea just behind where I stayed.

On the first day of walking around Great Orme, I could hear sheep baa-ing above me soon after passing the toll gate. The signage told me to expect sheep and goats along the way and warned me against approaching them.

untitled #61 [great orme, llandudno, wales, 2024]

The first time I heard them, I could only just see them above me (the photograph above).

At a later point, I turned to look back to where I'd come from and saw some sheep on a ledge above the road (as shown in the other three photographs).

A couple and their small child were coming around the curve of the road behind me. I caught the father's eye and gestured to the sheep, thinking he would point them out to his child.

Instead, he responded in a blasé fashion, "Yes, they're everywhere". I mentioned I had heard them further back but could barely see them. He commented on my camera's lens as if my only interest was photographing them.

Maybe he was a local, and it was all in a day's walk for him. Perhaps he was having a trying day.

But I thought to myself (and maybe muttered under my breath) that I hope I never lose my sense of wonder like he had seemed to.

I hope I never find sheep and goats hanging out on a ledge well above my head or below the road on sheer cliffs and grassy outcrops utterly and unspeakably ordinary and uninteresting, even if I lived in a place where I saw it every day.

What a dull life that would be.

In life, llandudno, wales Tags sheep, animals, cliff, cliff face, road, headland, limestone, look up, life, travel, marine drive, great orme, llandudno, wales
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on the edge

on the edge

September 7, 2020

I don't know how the hell I got here.

I mean, really, I do: I walked up here.

Mostly due to the coaxing and pressure from Sean and Nathan not to be a chicken. To climb under or over the barrier off the main path and ignore the clear signage telling us we weren't to go beyond that point.

They were dead keen to see the view. It looked amazing. Me? Not so keen.

I don't like heights for many reasons so sitting up here was a little beyond my comfort zone.

Not a little. A lot. Who am I kidding?

I waver between an overwhelming feeling of invincibility and the overwhelming feeling I'm going to bring up the burger and fries I consumed only an hour or so ago at a nearby pub. They would be preceded by the ice cream I enjoyed about 30 minutes before we headed down the path toward the beach.

The sea below is the most amazing blue.

I simultaneously feel it washing calm over me and calling to me to leap off into it. The second option could surely only result in death.

But the pull of the voice in my head - the physical pull I can't really adequately describe - is real. It's the same pull I feel when I'm right up against the yellow line on the platform in the Tube. A combination of magnetism toward the water or the metal of the train tracks and absolute rigid fear of what my body acting upon that magnetism would mean.

It's equal parts compulsion and revulsion so I avoid both situations as much as I can. Because I'm not ready for what comes after a wrong step; a loss of balance; the loss of equilibrium caused by being that close to the edge.

I sit and talk with Sean and Nathan studiously ignoring the sound of the waves below crashing in my ears. Studiously ignoring the point where the blue of the sea and sky meet that we like to call the horizon.

I focus on Sean's lips. The words pouring out of his mouth are kind of irrelevant. I don't really care about the substance of what he's saying. But they're absolutely imperative to me at this moment. If I lose focus on his lips, the words he's speaking, I lose everything.

I sneak a glance down at the beach. The crowds are growing as the day becomes warmer. Women of all shapes and sizes, in all manner of swimwear. The odd one catches my eye. Sometimes it's her figure. Other times it's an unfocussed splash of colour my eyes burrow into. Colour I can lose myself in. That isn't unending blue sea that hypnotises and calls to me.

Sean is also keenly aware of the women on the beach. He passes judgement and rates each woman who catches his eye. At least from this distance, he can't really see detail. Whether they have part of their swimming costume awry. Whether you can see the outline of their nipples. Whether you can see their tan lines, cellulite, curves ('good' or 'bad') or whatever else he's fixating on this week.

Nathan seems settled at this height but similarly uncomfortable about Sean's critique of the women on the beach. We both stay silent. Listen, but don't engage. Nathan looks out over the sea clearly wishing he was elsewhere, or that Sean was elsewhere.

As vacuous and offensive as Sean's commentary is, my mind focusses on it. Something to distract me from the closeness of the cliff.

I wonder how long we have to stay up here.

I shift uncomfortably on the rock and try to mentally coax Sean to suggest we head down to the beach. The shingle will still be uncomfortable under my arse, but at least I won't be so far up with so far to fall. So far to jump.

The sea never calls me this way when my feet are nestled in the sand or shingle. The sea can lap at my toes as much as it likes but it will never drown me in the siren sound that buffets my ears sat here on the cliff.

I can swim into the sea and feel it buoy me up. I can do handstands and swim out beyond where I can feel the sand under my toes. I can feel its welcoming, hopeful and calming caress against my body down there.

Up here, all I hear is its insatiable need for me to fall into it.

In england, projects, writing Tags people, cliff, summer, blue sky, clouds, nature, durdle door, dorset, england, postcards from another's life
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cliffhanger

cliffhanger

June 8, 2020

Day sixty-three of The 100 Day Project.

Illustrations:

Woman by Émile Bayard from Le général Dourakine

In digital collage Tags woman, cliff, blue sky, clouds, landscape, illustrations, photography, botany bay, kent, england, collage, the 100 day project, cut out and keep
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after the deluge

after the deluge

May 4, 2020

Day twenty-eight of The 100 Day Project.

Illustrations:

Figures in water by Gustave Doré from La sainte Bible, volume one

In digital collage Tags figures, woman, man, baby, ocean, landscape, cliff, sky, illustrations, photography, botany bay, kent, england, collage, the 100 day project, cut out and keep
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